Meanwhile, back in Ipswich....

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There was a bloke in Scotland arrested n charged with having sex with his bicycle - in the comfort of his own flat .

Apparently the complex cleaners let themselves into his home catching him in the act , called the police and he got done .
There was also a woman charged with a similar offence in Florida around the same time - tho with a motorbike in her own garage ...
 
Seriously, how can you be done for having sex with inanimate objects in the privacy of your own home? How does it differ in principle to a woman stuffing a 10" Bully Boy dildo up her clunge?