Joke thread

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Its friday afternoon at the primary school and the teacher is asking the kids what their dads do at the weekend. She gets the usual answers ' dad plays golf, dad takes mum shopping, dad takes me to the park'. The teacher turns to Johnny and asks what his dad does at the weekend.
Johnny frowns "miss my dad works at a gay bar at the weekends, he strips naked and at the end of the night all the men in the bar write their name on a £10 note and my dad pulls a £10 note out of a hat and has sex with the man whos name is on the note".
The teacher is shocked at Johnnys story and quickly moves on to the next pupil.
At the end of the day, as the kids are leaving the reacher pulls Johnny aside. "Johnny, does your dad really do what you told me at the weekends"?
"No miss", Johnny replies. "The truth is dad goes to watch swansea city and sing max boyce songs, I wasn't going to admit that in front of the class"!
 
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blue in belfast said:
Its friday afternoon at the primary school and the teacher is asking the kids what their dads do at the weekend. She gets the usual answers ' dad plays golf, dad takes mum shopping, dad takes me to the park'. The teacher turns to Johnny and asks what his dad does at the weekend.
Johnny frowns "miss my dad works at a gay bar at the weekends, he strips naked and at the end of the night all the men in the bar write their name on a £10 note and my dad pulls a £10 note out of a hat and has sex with the man whos name is on the note".
The teacher is shocked at Johnnys story and quickly moves on to the next pupil.
At the end of the day, as the kids are leaving the reacher pulls Johnny aside. "Johnny, does your dad really do what you told me at the weekends"?
"No miss", Johnny replies. "The truth is dad goes to watch swansea city and sing max boyce songs, I wasn't going to admit that in front of the class"!
Click to expand...


And we were singing Him & Harry's arse.
 
blue in belfast said:
Its friday afternoon at the primary school and the teacher is asking the kids what their dads do at the weekend. She gets the usual answers ' dad plays golf, dad takes mum shopping, dad takes me to the park'. The teacher turns to Johnny and asks what his dad does at the weekend.
Johnny frowns "miss my dad works at a gay bar at the weekends, he strips naked and at the end of the night all the men in the bar write their name on a £10 note and my dad pulls a £10 note out of a hat and has sex with the man whos name is on the note".
The teacher is shocked at Johnnys story and quickly moves on to the next pupil.
At the end of the day, as the kids are leaving the reacher pulls Johnny aside. "Johnny, does your dad really do what you told me at the weekends"?
"No miss", Johnny replies. "The truth is dad goes to watch swansea city and sing max boyce songs, I wasn't going to admit that in front of the class"!
Click to expand...


is that all your own work ?
 
blue in belfast said:
Its friday afternoon at the primary school and the teacher is asking the kids what their dads do at the weekend. She gets the usual answers ' dad plays golf, dad takes mum shopping, dad takes me to the park'. The teacher turns to Johnny and asks what his dad does at the weekend.
Johnny frowns "miss my dad works at a gay bar at the weekends, he strips naked and at the end of the night all the men in the bar write their name on a £10 note and my dad pulls a £10 note out of a hat and has sex with the man whos name is on the note".
The teacher is shocked at Johnnys story and quickly moves on to the next pupil.
At the end of the day, as the kids are leaving the reacher pulls Johnny aside. "Johnny, does your dad really do what you told me at the weekends"?
"No miss", Johnny replies. "The truth is dad goes to watch swansea city and sing max boyce songs, I wasn't going to admit that in front of the class"!
Click to expand...
CLASS <applause><applause>

even lurkers must have enjoyed that one :emoticon-0172-mooni
 
This is fun isn't it

Bluebirds defender Sean Morrison has challenged Cardiff City to launch a Reading-style push for the Premier League in their remaining 11 Championship games this season.
The centre-back was at Reading when the Royals strung together an amazing run of 17 wins in 23 matches to clinch the Championship title in 2012 after being in 23rd spot at one stage of the season.
And Morrison, ahead of today’s clash with Charlton at the Cardiff City Stadium, is adamant the Bluebirds can rejoin the Premier League via the Championship play-offs despite a stuttering season under boss Russell Slade.
“An average of 75 points will take a team into the play-offs and if we win every game we’ll have more than that,” said Morrison as the Bluebirds strive for back-to-back Championship wins against the Addicks having beaten Rotherham away in midweek.
“Cardiff have 11 games to go and we’ll be out to keep as many clean sheets as possible.

<laugh>
 
Matthew Bound Still Lurks said:
This is fun isn't it

Bluebirds defender Sean Morrison has challenged Cardiff City to launch a Reading-style push for the Premier League in their remaining 11 Championship games this season.
The centre-back was at Reading when the Royals strung together an amazing run of 17 wins in 23 matches to clinch the Championship title in 2012 after being in 23rd spot at one stage of the season.
And Morrison, ahead of today’s clash with Charlton at the Cardiff City Stadium, is adamant the Bluebirds can rejoin the Premier League via the Championship play-offs despite a stuttering season under boss Russell Slade.
“An average of 75 points will take a team into the play-offs and if we win every game we’ll have more than that,” said Morrison as the Bluebirds strive for back-to-back Championship wins against the Addicks having beaten Rotherham away in midweek.
“Cardiff have 11 games to go and we’ll be out to keep as many clean sheets as possible.

<laugh>
Click to expand...

Must admit I thought that was tempting fate myself - Morro should have read the script before coming out with that gem..........<laugh>
 
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Now that Sparkey is a posting of someone who's not stuck up his own arse and I appreciate the lack of personal abuse ,perhaps something your fellows posters should note.
 
dai bony wouldn't remember the not so distant memories of only a few thousand at the tax liberty stadium let alone the vetch dude <ok>..........try not be 2hard on him mind, I think bony is a bit special and wouldn't like him soiling himself for the sake of his helpers
 
aberdude said:
dai bony wouldn't remember the not so distant memories of only a few thousand at the tax liberty stadium let alone the vetch dude <ok>..........try not be 2hard on him mind, I think bony is a bit special and wouldn't like him soiling himself for the sake of his helpers
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That's more like it , a typical valley boy retort , simple but succinct .
 
^^ that coming from a village idiot I`ll take as a compliment <laugh>

bony prince Charlie flexing his gear....calm down dear you`ll give yourself a black out bony boy

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Matthew Bound Still Lurks said:
Is that really the best you can offer ? now I expect retorts like that from aber but I thought you could at least throw something back which might sting a bit but really <doh>
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I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you. :emoticon-0172-mooni
 
aberdude said:
dai bony wouldn't remember the not so distant memories of only a few thousand at the tax liberty stadium let alone the vetch dude <ok>..........try not be 2hard on him mind, I think bony is a bit special and wouldn't like him soiling himself for the sake of his helpers
Click to expand...


He has Diarrhoea of the mouth and constipation of ideas. <whistle>
 
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