Joke thread

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I see a new shampoo is being sold just for fans of swansea city. Its called 'go and wash'.

Just a bit of banter lurks, bit like the joke thread in your teams board.
 
it may have something 2do with bony having needs dai dude........yeah he needs 2 fk off <laugh>

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I have just bought some swan papers.

I don't know why, he probably can't even read.
 
Bony won the Swansea heat of mastermind and went to the big city for the finals.

After the two rounds he had scored zero points and the producer asked how did he get to the final.

The assistant said "I'm not sure but he did know jack sh*t"
 
A man received the following text from his neighbour:

I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.

The man, anguished and betrayed, went to his bedroom, grabbed his gun and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.

A few moments later, a second text came in:

Damn autocorrect. I meant "wifi" not "wife".
 
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VincentTansTache said:
A man received the following text from his neighbour:

I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.

The man, anguished and betrayed, went to his bedroom, grabbed his gun and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.

A few moments later, a second text came in:

Damn autocorrect. I meant "wifi" not "wife".
Click to expand...

Cheers VTT, laughed out loud at that one. <ok>
 
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Tried to watch last weeks Solar Eclipse through a Colander..
I think I've strained my eyes!
 
We didn't underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought. (Bobby Robson)
They say the new striker I'm marking is fast. Maybe, but how fast can he limp? (Mick McCarthy)
Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day. (Gary Lineker)
The club made some new signings, but its like putting lipstick on a pig. It's still a pig. (Ian Wright)
I'd been ill and hadn't trained for a week, and I'd been out of the team for three weeks before that, so I wasn't sharp. I got cramp before half-time as well. But I'm not one to make excuses. (Clinton Morrison)
 
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