Management Consultants - I seem to spend so much of my time justifying what we do rather than just doing it, My Senior Management seem to get an extreme amount of joy watching me go into battle with them. Ex-pats who long for home - So just go home, stop boring us with how good it is!! ALL countries are included. The Daily Show - It's now had its time but you have to watch it as every now and again there is a pearl of a programme. Hypocrisy - Have some values and stick with them - don't change as the wind blows. Her Majesty's Tax Office - How difficult can it be to understand through the written word and phone conversations that I don't need to pay PAYE as I have not lived in the country for 11 years, yet still get the bills, right on queue every 6 months!! Financial sheisters and politicians - If anything, since the Financial crisis they've become even more powerful and less accountable - How can it be right that UK institutions are allowed to try to bring the Danish Govt out of the Euro peg simply in the hope that they can grab a quick 20% return? Should it happen, thousands of jobs would be lost overnight. My usual cocktail barman - Continues to chastise me for my insistence on using Hendricks in my Bramble cocktail telling me I'm a Philistine My children - Why must they insist on eating their meat with no fat - especially when their favourite food is Confit de Canard and Rib Eye!! Myself - Always, and I mean always leaving everything to the last minute, promising more than is ever possible to deliver, my team hates me for it, achieving 50% more than any other team but always being seen to fall short due to my oversell! Here's a good example - Was prompting myself not to mention Barton the Count and Fernandes the Dick - but I just had to didn't I!!
The way people with dubious (ie financial) motives have too much influence over society. Technology companies seem to almost control how people interact with one another. The advancement in technology is fantastic (and gets passed onto important areas that create a great benefit) but the new fads of how we converse, locate each other, gamble, spend and relax are controlled by people who are interested in nothing more that USPs and the revenues they'll generate. Most of these fads end up dominating modern life. Simon Cowell has too much influence over modern music iin the UK, drip feeding the notion of what should be popular just to extort the maximum amount possible from it. Him and his ilk end up competing for market share and the saturation of puppets that are singing someone else's songs limits youngsters exposure to varied music. We love the old TOTP in our house (currently doing a run of 1980 shows) and the variety in the charts was amazing - pop, rock, punk, ska, disco all jostling for chart position. Sadly never to happen again. Sky controls football in England and I wish everyone (myself included) will say no when their overreaching on securing TV rights gets passed onto consumers. The only choices are to endure or revolt and watch the whole thing implode. My morals mean that I will have to abandon watching streams (I can justify it when Sky get their coffers and I can't afford to attend games but won't be able to rationalise it otherwise). Hollywood has really dried up in the last 10 years too - mostly plying the public with rehashes of old films/comics and painfully vacuous slapsticks and family films.
People who use nicknames for celebs; implying that they are mates or something ' Alright Jezzer it's me swordsy, fancy a pint when Top Gears finished?'
Laugh out loud, followed by my face is smiling right now... Nice one Swordsey mate... Going back to the z list celeb thing as my mate swordsey pointed out, the sad thing now is the less talent and the more stupid you are seems to be how to go and get a name for yourself these days. There must be a good job out there for me surely.
That reminds me of when I had the trots in a clock shop - there was definitely Pooh on the pendulum that day.
Job titles ............... I'm a Carpenter / Builder yet the name / title, is totally irrelevant. The only correct title I should have is a Master Proctologist, cause I spend most my days dealing with arsesoles!
Canned laughter, renders anything unwatchable, it is like being told when to laugh. Generally used on particularly chronic and totally unamusing sit coms. The one with that woman who has a large nose, I think it is called My Family, just dire.
Reality tv. Celebrity culture. Rude shop workers. Queenslander. Political correctness. The liberal left. The extreme right. The England one day cricket team. Drivers who look the wrong way when pulling out of a junction. Drivers who don't give way. Cyclists. People who never know when to stop playing the fool. Norwich City fc. Margarine. Marmite. Liver. Joey ****ing Barton.
Anything Mrs Badger watches on ITVBe Anybody other than Otis Redding singing Otis Redding songs The Essex stereotype Low grade sausages Vegetarian "meat" Overly eco-friendly people Liverpool fans (well the ones I know anyway) Jamie Redknapp Uptown Girl by Billie Joel
Born in the usa - Springsteen Down under - men at work - so glad they sued Don't like reggae -10cc God gave us rock n roll - don't know who
Point taken, all I can do at this stage is offer you and everyone my sincerest apologies! Please don't give me a permanent get my coat, cloak room ban...
