Off Topic Random irritations

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Star of David Bardsley

2023 Funniest Poster
Mar 27, 2011
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shamelessly stolen idea from LFW but think it could be fun.

I'll start with 'girls with boyfriends'. Wear a bloody sign when you go out so I can crack on to your uglier mate and save us both some time.

Secondly, anyone driving below 28mph in a 30 zone
 
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people (normally old) who do 40mph in a 60, then carry on doing 40 when they get to a 30 zone.

men over the age of 13 who use lol and smiley faces.
 
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Secondly, anyone driving below 28mph in a 30 zone

Spot on! And worse still anyone driving at 20mph in a 20mph zone at 6.15am, I was stuck behind one for the best part of a mile last week on a road where even the buses do 30 normally. At this rate they'll go back to having a bloke carrying a red flag in front of each vehicle before too long...
 
People who think Barton is a good captain ...........he's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!
 
People you have the misfortune of following into shops, only for them to suddenly stop dead just inside the door as though they're in awe. C'mon guys, this isn't Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium, it's WH Smiths, and it might amaze you but they're are actually people behind you trying to get in too.

Also, people who can't walk in a straight line that you catch up, head for a gap to their right, only for them to veer diagonally to close the gap, so you drift left and the bugger blocks you off again. It's often old folk with humped backs and shopping trolleys.

Also, my neighbours across the road who only ever come over when they want something, be it for me to second a passport application, or because one of the kids hasn't got a key and wants a piss, or they're going away and want us to look after their cat, or they want a witness to a rental agreement for University Boy etc. etc. Despite the myriad parties and social gatherings they've held they've never invited us, but we have to listen to their hour long goodbyes at 1:30am from our bed, then they lean out the window at 9:30am and complain that my mowing the lawn is disturbing them after a late night. They've even come out and asked our guests to park their cars elsewhere because they like to do a u-turn out of their drive rather than having to turn around at the end of the cul-de-sac like everybody else has to do when their guests do the same to us. A family of twats.

Oh, and people in general.
 
People in front of me in shops, who when told how much it's going to cost, then start looking for purse, wallet, shuffle in pockets for money, you **** you knew it costs money why didn't you have it ready
 
People you have the misfortune of following into shops, only for them to suddenly stop dead just inside the door as though they're in awe. C'mon guys, this isn't Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium, it's WH Smiths, and it might amaze you but they're are actually people behind you trying to get in too.

Also, people who can't walk in a straight line that you catch up, head for a gap to their right, only for them to veer diagonally to close the gap, so you drift left and the bugger blocks you off again. It's often old folk with humped backs and shopping trolleys.

Also, my neighbours across the road who only ever come over when they want something, be it for me to second a passport application, or because one of the kids hasn't got a key and wants a piss, or they're going away and want us to look after their cat, or they want a witness to a rental agreement for University Boy etc. etc. Despite the myriad parties and social gatherings they've held they've never invited us, but we have to listen to their hour long goodbyes at 1:30am from our bed, then they lean out the window at 9:30am and complain that my mowing the lawn is disturbing them after a late night. They've even come out and asked our guests to park their cars elsewhere because they like to do a u-turn out of their drive rather than having to turn around at the end of the cul-de-sac like everybody else has to do when their guests do the same to us. A family of twats.

Oh, and people in general.

You can legally mow the lawn from 8.00am, just saying...:grin:
 
People that ask if they can "get" something.

People that ask for a double skinny latte machiatto with hazelnut twist and a slice of lemon, when all I want is a black coffee, But have to wait for ages whilst the barista prepares their pretentious beverage.

Oh, and people in general.
 
At the bar in my local the 'stranger' in front gets served and turns to ask his six friends 'What are you having?' One by one and the last one wants a Guinness. Then pays by card...<grr>
 
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People that are incapable of controlling their dogs, even when they have them on the leash.

Oh, and people in general.
 
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People that are desperate to borrow money from you-let's say for the sake of argument it is a nephew through marriage who lives in Portsmouth-then comes up with every excuse why he is unable to make the repayments back to you time and time again.

Oh, and people in general.
 
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At the bar in my local the 'stranger' in front gets served and turns to ask his six friends 'What are you having?' One by one and the last one wants a Guinness. Then pays by card...<grr>
That happens to me in pubs but usually the bloke arrived at the bar after me and gets served first.
 
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