A WUM's Dream

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Tina said:
that's desperately sad. Seriously, it's the guy's business
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Aye it is the guy's business - would you ever write this as a reply to a paying customer on the world's most popular review website, basically calling them a jakey c**t?

n truth, nobody was rude to you all as your waiter, Edmond, (I watched him) simply responded “Sorry, because the table is booked again at 1530 I can't give you a bottle. I can give you a glass of wine”. He did this because we try to be as organised as possible and when we have a fully booked restaurant (most Saturdays) we advise of and have to enforce the leaving times required to accommodate the tables which have booked for later the same day. I remember advising your waiter, Edmond, at 1500 that your table was booked again at 1530 and so not to take any more large drink orders and your “request” for more drinks came around 5 mins after such direction. I did this (and continue to do this) because sometimes we have to suffer rude and selfish customers who refuse to get up and vacate at their out-time under the pretext that they are “just finishing drinks” and state something along the lines of “you shouldn’t have served us the drinks if you weren’t going to give us the time to finish them”. Indeed, you would have done the exact same thing I am convinced. I remember being beckoned to your table by a particularly obnoxious woman and asked “How come yer waitur woodnae gie us anuver boatil a’ wine?” and I politely replied “As you may not have enough time to finish a whole bottle before you have to leave at 3.30. We are trying to do you a favour”. The reply from members of your group ranged from “that’s pure terrible”, “ah kin pure finish a boatil afore 3.30”, “wher dus it say wae need tae gie yer table back?” and my response was that we can serve you a bottle but we will still need to the table back at 3.30 even if has not been finished by such time. The response was “Nah lee it”. All our waiters were courteous to you on all your visits despite you and your friends’ often impolite/presumptuous behaviour. You were advised of the out-time when booking and our lunchtime set menu (which you were clearly capable of reading as you all ordered from such) states “Please note that on Saturdays we require our tables back within 2 hours of your booking/ walk-in time”. The reason why I laughed to Edmond after leaving your table was because I was trying to explain to him (he is not of UK origin) what “Oor Wullie” was as your group acted and sounded like you were characters from such. I see that you have not yet uploaded good reviews for your previous visits which led you to return multiple times to our restaurant and, instead, have uploaded a negative one as you have perceived something to not have gone your way. As a consequence, losing the future custom of a vindictive group of sour-faced self-interested noisy vagrants who we had the misfortune of accommodating a few weeks in a row shall pose us no difficulty in the slightest.
Yours sincerely
Paolo Martone
Qua Italian Restaurant
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<laugh>

Edge, your review is going down a treat. 8 votes so far from people who found it 'helpful'. Pretty much all the others have 0.

Just reading it back and i'm crying with laughter

Some guy came up to us and said that we can't sing songs in the restront! I said how no, as they were no one in and it was just me and the bhoys
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<laugh>
 
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This has to be a WUM?

“Abandoned wife well looked after!”
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Reviewed 12 October 2014
Having been caught in heavy traffic I was late for our meal, however my good wife was well looked after till I arrived, in fact surprised she was still there in view of offers from several charming italian waiters. We often eat here before going to concerts, the food is very good for the price and is authentic italian cooking. The service is excellent.
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Potential dogger
 
Anycunt who reads my review and doesn't go in spite of all the positive reviews, needs their balls kicked.

"ahm no gawn cos I cannae sing celtic songs and the spicy sausage is too spicy"
 
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It's my anniversary today (10 years since my last gay rendezvous) and I said to her that we should go out for lunch.

Genuinely considering getting the train to High Street and going to Que and see the beel first hand :grin:
 
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