Too little too late, Nige.
Only full autonomy, one state - two systems, will halt the relentless march to independence.
We want, IOM back, British Virgian Islands (to be renamed the tight Scotch isles), Rockall and the Caymans.
We want say in the £, we want Prince Philip (you can keep Andrew and Edward).
From now on, the water we give you will be metered and charged to you on a pro-forma basis. We don't want you running up arrears leaving us no option other than to invade...
Yours sincerely,
Jock.