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Suarez Limerick thread

Discussion in 'The Premier League' started by CCC, Jun 27, 2014.

  1. CCC

    CCC Poet Laureate

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    For your continued amusement (or not!), I've done a few Limericks and one Irish Limerick about the Suarez situation.

    Irish Limerick

    There once was a man from Salto City,
    Whose name was oft' cheered in a Kop-end ditty,
    In the World Cup he starred,
    'Til - alas! - he was barred,
    For sinking his teeth into Chiellini, which is fine, but I prefer chicken, myself, like.


    Normal Limericks

    Luis' dyslexia was easy to see,
    Demonstrated against Italy,
    In a ravenous fit,
    the defender he bit,
    Was definitely not Canilloni.

    Play off the defenfer's shoulder they said,
    But onfield he noted he hadn't been fed,
    He siddled to their Three,
    And instead of his Tea,
    HE chomped on his shoulder instead.



    Our number seven may resemble a horse,
    But he adores LFC with some force,
    His love is no bluff,
    'Cos he f**ks us enough,
    'Though not in the good way, of course.



    Feel free to add your own Limericks. <ok> <cheers>
     
    #1
  2. CCC

    CCC Poet Laureate

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    Come on, lads! Why so reticent? You usually can't wait to make things up ... <whistle>
     
    #2
  3. Enricky.

    Enricky. Well-Known Member
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    Sympathy post. <whistle>
     
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  4. CCC

    CCC Poet Laureate

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    Thanks, Enricky. <hug>
     
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  5. Page_Moss_Kopite

    Page_Moss_Kopite Well-Known Member

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    An Italian called Chellini was bitten by a meany
    the skin wasn't broke by the Uruguayan bloke
    So he smothered it with tortellini
     
    #5
  6. CCC

    CCC Poet Laureate

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    Nice one, Page. <ok>
     
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  7. HRH Custard VC

    HRH Custard VC National Car Park Attendant

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    An Italian was bit by a rat
    The rat was a stupid goofy twat
    he bit 3 times
    and got banned for a long time
    and Slippy G is the worst captain ever for England.

    Suarez was a good player
    until he bit a player
    3 timse he did it
    lied and said he did not do it
    we all know he is a gayer all the same
     
    #7
  8. CCC

    CCC Poet Laureate

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    Not quite as good as PMK's effort, but you still managed to slip in a Gerrard dig. <laugh>

    The last stanza is practically anti-poetry. I like it. <ok>
     
    #8
  9. FosseFilberto

    FosseFilberto Pizzeria Superiore and some ...
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    He was wrong that's beyond real dispute
    Damaged psyche lying there at the root
    Easy to vilify
    Luis Suarez, Uruguay
    He needs help so much more than rebuke

    Gastronomy was not apposite
    The 'dish' hardly put up a fight
    It wasn't your weeny
    For God's sake Chellini
    So stop whingeing on so, gobshite..

    All consuming tantrums and rages
    Cannon fodder for pocket-book sages
    Feast of football is less
    What a shambolic mess
    Such a shame on the greatest of stages
     
    #9

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