Off Topic The Rep Brothel
- Thread starter Albert's Chip Shop
- Start date
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I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons and memories came
flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first pint.
Got him a Fosters ....... he didn't like it - I had it.
Then I got him Carlsberg, he didn't like it so I had it.
It was the same with Guinness and Cider.
By the time we got down to the whisky I could hardly push the bloody pram.
flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first pint.
Got him a Fosters ....... he didn't like it - I had it.
Then I got him Carlsberg, he didn't like it so I had it.
It was the same with Guinness and Cider.
By the time we got down to the whisky I could hardly push the bloody pram.
Guywanderer
Well-Known Member
Guywanderer
Well-Known Member
.
A Scotsman buys several sheep,
Hoping to breed them for wool.
After several weeks, he notices
That none of the sheep are getting
Pregnant, and phones a vet for help.
The vet tells him that he should
Try artificial insemination.
The farmer doesn't have the
Slightest idea what this means but,
Not wanting to display his ignorance,
Only asks the vet how he will know
When the sheep are pregnant.
The vet tells him that they will stop
Standing around, and instead will
Lie down, and wallow in the grass,
When they are pregnant.
The man hangs up and gives it
Some thought. He comes to the
Conclusion that artificial insemination
Means he has to impregnate
The sheep himself.
So, he loads the sheep into his
Land Rover, drives them out into
The woods, has sex with them all,
Brings them back, then goes to bed..
Next morning,he wakes and looks
Out at the sheep. Seeing that they
Are all still standing around, he
Deduces that the first try didn't take,
And loads them in the Land Rover
Again.
He drives them out to the woods,
Bangs each sheep twice for good
Measure, brings them back, and
Goes to bed exhausted.
Next morning, he wakes to find
The sheep still just standing around.
"Try again." he tells himself, and
Proceeds to load them up, and drive
Them out to the woods.
He spends all day shagging the
Sheep, and upon returning home,
Falls knackered into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even
Raise himself from the bed to look
Out of the window..
He asks his wife to look, and tell him
If the sheep are lying in the grass.
"No,"she says, "They're all in the Land Rover,
And one of them is beeping the horn."
Hoping to breed them for wool.
After several weeks, he notices
That none of the sheep are getting
Pregnant, and phones a vet for help.
The vet tells him that he should
Try artificial insemination.
The farmer doesn't have the
Slightest idea what this means but,
Not wanting to display his ignorance,
Only asks the vet how he will know
When the sheep are pregnant.
The vet tells him that they will stop
Standing around, and instead will
Lie down, and wallow in the grass,
When they are pregnant.
The man hangs up and gives it
Some thought. He comes to the
Conclusion that artificial insemination
Means he has to impregnate
The sheep himself.
So, he loads the sheep into his
Land Rover, drives them out into
The woods, has sex with them all,
Brings them back, then goes to bed..
Next morning,he wakes and looks
Out at the sheep. Seeing that they
Are all still standing around, he
Deduces that the first try didn't take,
And loads them in the Land Rover
Again.
He drives them out to the woods,
Bangs each sheep twice for good
Measure, brings them back, and
Goes to bed exhausted.
Next morning, he wakes to find
The sheep still just standing around.
"Try again." he tells himself, and
Proceeds to load them up, and drive
Them out to the woods.
He spends all day shagging the
Sheep, and upon returning home,
Falls knackered into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even
Raise himself from the bed to look
Out of the window..
He asks his wife to look, and tell him
If the sheep are lying in the grass.
"No,"she says, "They're all in the Land Rover,
And one of them is beeping the horn."
Guywanderer
Well-Known Member
.
Guywanderer
Well-Known Member
.
Guywanderer
Well-Known Member
