JEFF FOXWORTHY ON MUSLIMS Funny that it's ok to make jokes about Catholics, the Pope, Jews, Christians, the Irish, the Italians, the Polish etc etc,. . . . but its insensitive to make jokes about Muslims. The sooner we are all on same level playing field, the better. Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims: 1. If you refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor, You may be a Muslim. 2. If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes, You may be a Muslim. 3. If you have more wives than teeth, You may be a Muslim. 4. If you wipe your bum with your bare hand but consider bacon to be unclean, You may be a Muslim. 5. If you think vests come in two styles: Bullet-proof and suicide. You may be a Muslim 6. If you can't think of anyone you haven't declared jihad against, You may be a Muslim. 7. If you consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your clothing, You may be a Muslim. 8. If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs, You may be a Muslim. 9. If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four, You may be a Muslim. 10. If you find this offensive or racist and don't forward it, You may be a Muslim.
On the way home from golf this morning, I popped into the bottle shop to buy two cartons of my favourite beer, Tuatara Pilsener. I placed the beer on the front seat and headed back home. I stopped at a petrol station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump. She glanced at the cartons of beer bent over and leaned in my passenger window, and said in a sexy voice, "I'm a big believer in barter, handsome. Would you be interested in trading sex for beer?" ... I thought for a few seconds and asked, "What kind of beer 'ya got?"
