Anybody Ever Shagged a Fat Burd?

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Or really skinny ones that get told off for smoking weed <laugh>
 
I rarely watch it as it gets me so angry. Not so much the guests but that prick Kyle himself <grr>

How no one has given him a right hook or had-butted him is beyond me. The way he gets in people's faces - argh! You could get at least a couple of punches in before the security guards got there. Or at least a swift boot in the bollocks!

ps I'm not usually a violent man. It's just that **** Kyle <grr>
 
StereoTypist said:
I rarely watch it as it gets me so angry. Not so much the guests but that prick Kyle himself <grr>

How no one has give him a right hook or had-butted him is beyond me. The way he gets in people's faces - argh! You could get at least a couple of punches in before the security guards got there. Or at least a swift boot in the bollocks!
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Probably seen about 10 episodes of it overall and he always shouts at people for smoking 'cannabis' or 'cannabis joints', as they're spending their dole money on pot instead of their kids <laugh>

I was going to say I'd punch him if I he talked to me like that, but luckily I plan on never having anything to do with him, or most people that appear on that show <ok>
 
The Day I Took One For The Team!

One drunken night, my friend and I ended up back in a birds house. I had met her a few weeks previously and been textin her flat out. We arranged to meet after a night out at her place so my friend, who wasn't drinking drove us to her place and in we went. I was pissed and we all sat having a laugh. I noticed my friend showing a lot of interest in the bird I was supposed to be hooking up with. She was closer to his age as she was about 10 years older then me.

He approached me and asked if he could drill her instead of me. I said "Feck it, go for it mate." I ended up going out to the car to try go for a sleep. This was afterall, about 5am. All of a sudden her mate appeared at the car and asked me to come inside. Low and behold when my blurred eyes opened, there was the ultimate honey monster standing there. I told her "im ok thanks" and she went inside.

She came out a few mins later with my friend. She asked me again to go with her to her house. I thought no way. Then my mate played the guilt trip saying if I didnt go, she would torture them 2 and he would get no action. Being the good mate that I am said feck it, i'll take 1 for the team.

The monster took me by the hand around some random housing estate into her house. I remember it having no electric. We walked up the uncarpeted stairs and into a bedroom which contained a double bed with no bedsheets - just a bare mattress. I remember thinking to myself "What the feck am I doing here"!

She then completely took advantage of me, by undressing me and well, you know the rest. This girl was an animal. At the end of it, I felt like I had been run over by a double decker bus. Mental.

I can safely say, that was the first and last time that a fat bird had her way with me!
 
Doyler said:
The Day I Took One For The Team!

One drunken night, my friend and I ended up back in a birds house. I had met her a few weeks previously and been textin her flat out. We arranged to meet after a night out at her place so my friend, who wasn't drinking drove us to her place and in we went. I was pissed and we all sat having a laugh. I noticed my friend showing a lot of interest in the bird I was supposed to be hooking up with. She was closer to his age as she was about 10 years older then me.

He approached me and asked if he could drill her instead of me. I said "Feck it, go for it mate." I ended up going out to the car to try go for a sleep. This was afterall, about 5am. All of a sudden her mate appeared at the car and asked me to come inside. Low and behold when my blurred eyes opened, there was the ultimate honey monster standing there. I told her "im ok thanks" and she went inside.

She came out a few mins later with my friend. She asked me again to go with her to her house. I thought no way. Then my mate played the guilt trip saying if I didnt go, she would torture them 2 and he would get no action. Being the good mate that I am said feck it, i'll take 1 for the team.

The monster took me by the hand around some random housing estate into her house. I remember it having no electric. We walked up the uncarpeted stairs and into a bedroom which contained a double bed with no bedsheets - just a bare mattress. I remember thinking to myself "What the feck am I doing here"!

She then completely took advantage of me, by undressing me and well, you know the rest. This girl was an animal. At the end of it, I felt like I had been run over by a double decker bus. Mental.

I can safely say, that was the first and last time that a fat bird had her way with me!
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Clearly lies and story from NUTS magazine :D
 
Doyler said:
The Day I Took One For The Team!

One drunken night, my friend and I ended up back in a birds house. I had met her a few weeks previously and been textin her flat out. We arranged to meet after a night out at her place so my friend, who wasn't drinking drove us to her place and in we went. I was pissed and we all sat having a laugh. I noticed my friend showing a lot of interest in the bird I was supposed to be hooking up with. She was closer to his age as she was about 10 years older then me.

He approached me and asked if he could drill her instead of me. I said "Feck it, go for it mate." I ended up going out to the car to try go for a sleep. This was afterall, about 5am. All of a sudden her mate appeared at the car and asked me to come inside. Low and behold when my blurred eyes opened, there was the ultimate honey monster standing there. I told her "im ok thanks" and she went inside.

She came out a few mins later with my friend. She asked me again to go with her to her house. I thought no way. Then my mate played the guilt trip saying if I didnt go, she would torture them 2 and he would get no action. Being the good mate that I am said feck it, i'll take 1 for the team.

The monster took me by the hand around some random housing estate into her house. I remember it having no electric. We walked up the uncarpeted stairs and into a bedroom which contained a double bed with no bedsheets - just a bare mattress. I remember thinking to myself "What the feck am I doing here"!

She then completely took advantage of me, by undressing me and well, you know the rest. This girl was an animal. At the end of it, I felt like I had been run over by a double decker bus. Mental.

I can safely say, that was the first and last time that a fat bird had her way with me!
Click to expand...

I think Doyler is the Fat Ugly Bird who got lucky!! :redface::p
 
I had a Charlie Sheen night with my young cousin and his mate after the pub.
A big girl I know, lives close by and she loves cock, so I phoned her at 3am and asked if she wanted some. I got there first and a put a porn dvd on, my young cousin and his mate didn't know where to look, but after I shoved my cock in her gub they got tore in.

Absolutely surreal situation - but when you're on the Charlie Sheen, anything can happen.

:bandit: <somersault> <ok>
 
You could play find the Werther's original on Dawn French using only your tongue while blindfolded and have literally hours of fun!
 
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