I woke for the toilet in the middle of the night and noticed someone sneaking thru next door's garden. Suddenly my neighbour came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel killing him instantly. He then began to dig a grave with the shovel. Astonished I got back into bed. My wife said 'darling you're shaking, what is it?' 'you'll never believe what I've just seen' I said, 'that twat next door has still got my ****ing shovel'.