Off Topic OT: Getting paid for...(**** thread)

I was 8? Isn't that what you do when you're that age? Well.. No, I still do it now, needless to say I don't have a good aim. I usually piss like a girl anyway.

 

What do you mean 'like'?

 

Squatting over the toilet with tissue paper neatly folded on the toilet seat. Well the second bit is a lie..

 

That isn't what I meant, love

 

Well you got lovely insight instead so consider it a win

 

you've got no toilet seat?

 

Many years ago, I went to Thailand with my then wife. As straight as they come. Never smoked anything and didn't often drink. There were two things I wanted to do when I was there: get her into a sex show and ensure i got hold of a Thai stick to smoke.

Surprisingly, I achieved the first one without too much difficulty, although she did drag me out when the naked Thai girl next to her started licking her ear whilst a couple were ****ing on stage.

The second one proved more problematic, until we went on a boat trip to a coral island. We went on a jet ski and I did a bit of snorkeling. I then decided I'd go for a walk down the beach and sample some Singha at one of the many bars. Whilst I was walking, two Thai kids came up to me. They asked me if I wanted to go on a jet ski and I said no. They then asked me if I wanted a Thai stick. I replied quickly in the affirmative and they led me to the last bar on the beach. They told me to wait there. I showed them that I only had 120 baht on me, and they said it was only 5. They disappeared and I got a bit worried I was going to get rolled. They came out 5 minutes later with the offending article. I gave them 10 baht and said thanks. They said "We stay here and make sure you enjoy". I lit it and smoked it. I then said thanks and turned to walk of, falling straight on my face in the sand. When I got up, both kids were laughing their tits off and I was completely ****ing scattered.

I walked to a bar and got a beer, and then another one, and then I wandered in an abstract fashion back down the beach. I got back to my wife and she said, "My God, what's wrong with you?". I said I thought I had sunstroke. She asked me if there was anything she could do and I said she could get me a couple of ice-cold beers from the bar. I got the beers and lay on the sun lounger gazing out at an azure sea, stoned as a ****. Great holiday

 

I'm going to base my answer on my youngest son (3) who is able to (and has been able to for a while) piss standing up without a problem. I'm going to back that up with my eldest son (5) who was also able to do the same at a similar but slightly age than his younger sibling. Lastly, I don't recall pissing on walls myself (well, pre-adulthood anyway )

No, thats not normal!

 

In English please

 

I'll treat that response with the total derision it deserves

 

and you big academic pussy, can't hold your stick

 

With the amount of **** you give me for spelling, typos, etc, you deserve it

(you may want to re-read it)

 

Show offs

 

You've got to expect typos in a piece of that magnitude

 

Hence me making so many errors

 

Yeah, in your four word opuses

 

Fixed

 

It takes a lot of skill to condense a point so greatly

 

Seriously? Do you have OCD for spelling and grammar?

 

No, but you were right. If I dish it out, I have to be prepared to take it