The closest to rape I got was when some girl decided to dance up against me and then got mad when I grabbed her tits
50°F People in Southern England turn on the central heating People in Edinburgh plant out bedding plants 40°F Southerners shiver uncontrollably Glaswegians sunbathe on the beach at Largs 35°F Cars in the South of England refuse to start People in Falkirk drive with their windows down 20°F Southerners wear overcoats, gloves and woolly hats Aberdonian men throw on a t-shirt; girls start wearing mini-skirts 15°F Southerners begin to evacuate to the continent People from Dundee swim in the River Tay at Broughty Ferry 0°F Life in the South grinds to a halt Inverness folk have the last BBQ before it gets cold -10°F Life in the South ceases to exist People in Dunfermline throw on a light jacket -80°F Polar bears wonder if it's worth carrying on Boy Scouts in Oban start wearing their long trousers -100°F Santa Claus abandons North Pole People in Stirling put on their 'long johns' -173°F Alcohol freezes Glaswegians get upset because all the pubs are shut -297°F Microbial life starts to disappear The cows in Dumfriesshire complain about farmers with cold hands -460°F All atomic motion stops Shetlanders stamp their feet and blow on their hands -500°F Hell freezes over Scotland support England in the World cup
