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Dutchmagpie

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Apr 6, 2013
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Bochum, the wild depths of Germany.
Was waiting for someone to put up some team ratings, but thought I might as well have a crack at it :)

ELLIOTT - 6
Couldn't do anything about the penalty but made a superb save earlier in the game to keep us in it. Stupid dismissal though - made it very hard for us.

DEBUCHY - 5
Terrible first half, but he put himself about a lot better in the second half. I'd give him a 6 at least, but I'm sure Tash would tear me apart otherwise.

COLO - 8 (MOTM)
Solid. Slipped up only once really at the end of the match but put in a really credible performance. We really missed him this season.

WILLIAMSON - 7
Solid, if unspectacular. Did well and gave QPR no chance in the air.

MYM - 7
Did well as a left back for the second game running. I'm tempted to say we should keep him there...

TIOTE - 6
Did all right, I've certainly seen him play a lot worse this season.

CABAYE - 5
Not his day today. He was pretty much invisible during the second half. The lad needs a rest.

GOUFFRAN - 6
Did well for the goal, but passing was sloppy. Like the rest of the midfield, he seemed to disappear during the second half.

GUTIERREZ - 6
Did well to set up the second goal, also worked hard, but lacked effectiveness.

BEN ARFA - 6
Looked our main threat during the first half. Did well to set up his own goal too, but went missing the second half and occasionally gave away possession cheaply.

CISSE - 5
Did anyone even see him? Not his fault though. He was far too isolated and reduced to feeding off scraps the entire game.

Subs

PERCH - 5
Didn't do much at all.


Overall - glad we got the win but the performance was awful. We looked decent in short spells during the first half but the way we just rolled over in the second half (like so many times this season) was unacceptable. Had the defense not been as solid as they were, we would've easily conceded another goal or two.

Now that we're safe we can look towards next year. Pardew surely has to walk, but with Ashley anything is possible. How he has got such a group of talented players performing so badly under him is a mystery. We couldn't seem to string together two passes. How? This was against the bottom side in the table, already relegated and with nothing to play for. Words fail me.
 
Hmm we've found our new assessment man, realistic, reliable...................<laugh>

<tashwillberagingwithyou:emoticon-0121-angry>
 
Just thank god for Fabricio Coloccini. Without his return we'd be long gone.

Shame he's off in summer as we'll have a hell of a job trying to replace him.

But yeah, I'll place on record my thanks for his services under tough personal circumstances &#8211; best player we have bar none!
 
2SilverSeahorses said:
Just thank god for Fabricio Coloccini. Without his return we'd be long gone.

Shame he's off in summer as we'll have a hell of a job trying to replace him.

But yeah, I'll place on record my thanks for his services under tough personal circumstances &#8211; best player we have bar none!
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Comfortably
 
Elliott should be marked down to a 3. The save wasn't great and both his booking and subsequent booking were stupid at best, downright incompetent at worst. Gouff and Jonas I'd mark down as well - is there a less effective "winger" than Gutierrez? And Gouff in the 2nd half was possibly worse than Shola would have been; simply gave the ball away every time. Fairly laughable that he's supposed to have pace and couldn't get past Clint Hill....

For me, though, it's all down to Pardew. He's turned decent players to crap, is far too worried about saving a point than getting 3 and ultimately has somehow drained our best players of belief.
 
Nedders said:
Elliott should be marked down to a 3. The save wasn't great and both his booking and subsequent booking were stupid at best, downright incompetent at worst. Gouff and Jonas I'd mark down as well - is there a less effective "winger" than Gutierrez? And Gouff in the 2nd half was possibly worse than Shola would have been; simply gave the ball away every time. Fairly laughable that he's supposed to have pace and couldn't get past Clint Hill....

For me, though, it's all down to Pardew. He's turned decent players to crap, is far too worried about saving a point than getting 3 and ultimately has somehow drained our best players of belief.
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I was awaiting you turning this into yet another Pardew is ****e thread :emoticon-0113-sleep Boooooooooooooooo!
 
Good assessment, though I would up Cisse to 6, was isolated and feeding off scraps ..but kept working his socks off

Tremendous header too, as benefit of doubt to attacker, he was onside..
 
Nedders said:
Elliott should be marked down to a 3. The save wasn't great and both his booking and subsequent booking were stupid at best, downright incompetent at worst. Gouff and Jonas I'd mark down as well - is there a less effective "winger" than Gutierrez? And Gouff in the 2nd half was possibly worse than Shola would have been; simply gave the ball away every time. Fairly laughable that he's supposed to have pace and couldn't get past Clint Hill....

For me, though, it's all down to Pardew. He's turned decent players to crap, is far too worried about saving a point than getting 3 and ultimately has somehow drained our best players of belief.
Click to expand...

I think he's a ****ing Cockney Mackem!
 
ELLIOTT - 5. Stupid yellow cards. Will he be a good Premiership keeper? Doubt it.

DEBUCHY - 5. Poor tackles, could have walked himself. He's not happy.

COLO - 8 (MOTM) Missed his class recently.

WILLIAMSON - 8. Was good against the bottom side. No complaints today.

MYM - 7. Did his bit at the back. Thought he was classy at times and will defo improve.

TIOTE - 4.5. Nothing special really, except maybe careful in the tackle.

CABAYE - 4.5 Once again. failed to really perform

GOUFFRAN - 6 Precious precious goal. Maybe Worth £60million

GUTIERREZ - 6. He is not a decent defender, and offers little going forward - BUT Assist for a precious precious goal.

BEN ARFA - 6. Confidence and run of the green isn't great at the moment, which is understandable.

CISSE - 5. Pee awful service to him. Balls in the air aren't his A-game. He worked and was minimally offside for that chalked off goal.

Harper - top man. No rating needed. He came on and held it together.

Perch 5.5 - grafted for a bit of time to keep the score unchanged.
 
Nolberto's Salsa Inferno said:
Good assessment, though I would up Cisse to 6, was isolated and feeding off scraps ..but kept working his socks off

Tremendous header too, as benefit of doubt to attacker, he was onside..
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Aye he was a bit unlucky, particularly 2nd half. As they went into panic "lets defend the box" mode, he got more and more isolated. It was the midfield. Gouf couldn't keep the ball, HBA didn't come back and knackered, Cabaye and Perch went and sat on top of the centre backs, and Jonas wasn't involved. I know it was a tense situation but we again lacked any form of game management in midfield.
 
Rob Elliot is not good enough for Newcastle United and I expect the staff know this. They just bank on Krul being fit.

Not a bad lad I'm sure, tries his best and honest but not for us. I'd rather have had Fraser Forster as back-up, in fact I'd still be playing the ol' 'Harpsichord'...

(I just made that up)
 
Norma Snockers said:
Aye he was a bit unlucky, particularly 2nd half. As they went into panic "lets defend the box" mode, he got more and more isolated. It was the midfield. Gouf couldn't keep the ball, HBA didn't come back and knackered, Cabaye and Perch went and sat on top of the centre backs, and Jonas wasn't involved. I know it was a tense situation but we again lacked any form of game management in midfield.
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So how does one sort this, then? For me we looked alright when we basically played a flat 4-4-2. It was when it all started to try and be a bit 'fluid' that it turned to crap.
 
Congratulations on survival, I'm sure you're all as relieved as I am (norwich fan). Looking forward to getting to St James' next season!
 
Nedders said:
So how does one sort this, then? For me we looked alright when we basically played a flat 4-4-2. It was when it all started to try and be a bit 'fluid' that it turned to crap.
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Get someone in there who can lead, actually read the game, and communicate change as required. Cabaye can't, Perch can't, Tiote can't (although does influence more by his application). It won't always be fairweather, and then you need character. If Nolan or Barton had been on that pitch, they'd have sorted it out. Maybe we don't need to bring in a starting player, but just an older Bracewell/Speed/Nolan type who can come off the bench and restore order. We are weak willed in there.
 
Norma Snockers said:
Get someone in there who can lead, actually read the game, and communicate change as required. Cabaye can't, Perch can't, Tiote can't (although does influence more by his application). It won't always be fairweather, and then you need character. If Nolan or Barton had been on that pitch, they'd have sorted it out. Maybe we don't need to bring in a starting player, but just an older Bracewell/Speed/Nolan type who can come off the bench and restore order. We are weak willed in there.
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It is a good point - Colo being the clear example. One worry is that again it's not recognised - it's hard to see how it will be, as it hasn't been addressed thus far. It's not as though Remy - the point mooted by the boss (sorry) - is the difference in this area. There were no chances being created.
 
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