Off Topic OT: Getting paid for...(**** thread)

Can't beat a lazy piss

 

I only tend to do a sit down wee if I wake up in the middle of the night. As I walk to the bathroom without turning lights on and without opening my eyes. Sit down is safer than spraying the floor in the dark. Then wlk back in the dark. Find you don't wake up properly in doing it this way an go back sleep no bother.

 

Very true. I had a 3am **** the other week, would have made it back to bed without fully waking up if my Mrs didn't yell at me to close the door. One of the disadvantages of an en suite.

 

That's the issue with ensuites. Unless its a massive house. A bird I was seeing a year ago had a little 3 bed house, it had an ensuite. Got caught short in the night. Think my flatulence echoing in such a small space startled her somewhat.

 

This takes on to a slightly different angle...


Piss techniques when experiencing morning glory

 

Yeah that's a tricky experience . I tend to stand and stoop over and be d the old chap down. I don't him touching the side of the bowl when performing a sit down wee. Also in the past I got over confident and felt it had gone down enough to be left alone then sprayed my legs through the gap between the seat and the loo.

 

I tend to opt for the lazy piss position but sit as far back as I can muster with my head lower than my arse

 

Been there, soaked my trousers and underwear before.

I've had a couple of danger ****s in the ensuite shower, as my Mrs sits in bed reading.

Anyone been paid to have a ****?

 

Hmm...who is going to own up first

 

I have. First job in agency, I was 24. Knocked one out in the office watching porn on a Saturday afternoon.

Have also smashed a client who's house I valued. In her house. So technically she paid me for sex

Also did an 18 yr old trainee in the staff toilets when the office closed. Oh to be young again.

 

I did this once in London when I was seeing this girl, wasn't an ensuite but the bathroom was next to her bedroom. Shared house too, once I farted into the bowl I couldn't hold back laughing. Having stored gas and laughter is an incredibly dangerous mixture. She didn't say much when I went back into the bedroom, last time I saw her too.

 

Home made tacos tonight, shall be an interesting day tomorrow.

 

Cept the 18yo trainee that's

Does waiting about turn you on FFS

 

There's a ****ing thread for that, unbelievably.

 

Just getting rid of the last remnants of the giant steak.

Not the most ideal form of stretching first thing in the morning.

 

On several occasions

 

I disagree, I think it is the best stretch in a morning

 

Better than morning sex ?

 

Morning sex is the best. Let's get this thread derailed

 

Can't remember

Impossible to derail this thread, well, unless you start talking about football