HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR 2030? Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions . White minorities still trying to have English recognised as the UK's third language. Children from two-parent, married, heterosexual families bullied in schools for being 'different'. Tolerance urged. Manchester schoolgirl expelled for not wearing a Burqa: Sharia law must be enforced. Japan announces that they will no longer consume whale meat as whales are now extinct and the scientific research fleet are unemployed. UK Government has told the Japanese that Grey Squirrels taste like whale meat. Britain now has ten Universities of Political Correctness. Professor Goldman of LSPC says there is still a long way to go in the fight to stop people saying what they think. Britain's deficit £10 trillion and rising. Government declares return to surplus in 100 years which is 300 years ahead of time. Prime Minister Mohammed Yousuf claims increased growth through more immigration is the secret to success. Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped. Iran still quarantined.. Physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. France pleads for global help after being taken over by Islamic Countries. No other country volunteers to come forward to help the beleaguered nation! Jose Manuel Rodrigez Bush says he will run for second term as US President in 2032. Post Office raises price of stamps to £18 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only. After a ten year £75.8 billion study, commissioned by the Labour Party: Scientists prove diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. Average weight of a British male drops to 18 stone. Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil and human rights. Victims to be held partly responsible for crime. Average height of professional basketball players is now nine feet, seven inches. New law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2035 as lethal weapons.. Inland Revenue sets lowest tax rate in decades at 75 per cent. Bradford won this years FA cup final beating the Hindu Hornets 4-1.
Terry Geraghty returned as Independent Councillor for Orchard Park again, even though he's been dead ten years. His spokesman stated this will in no way affect his ability to do his job.
Tory/UKIPcoalition disband last military units as PM declares " Private sector companies will be more efficient". Ryanair commence RAF services, on minimum costs, but say bullets and oxygen will be available at a fee. Group 4 take up Army duties. A spokesman said "We expect to do at least as well as our successful contract to provide security for the 2012 Olympics.
25th March, 2030. The iPatch 2 is released, which slots neatly into the back of the retina. Billions have the surgery and enjoy the new way to check email and text with their brain. 27th March, 2030 iPatch 3 released, people claw their own eyes out to get one. According to most peoples FM game, Wigan are in the BSS and York City just won the Champions League.
was gonna say Players begin wearing microphones - but i see them wanting to be mic'ed up a lot sooner than 2030 !!
Sir Alex Ferguson finally admits it's time to give up and gets a new watch - referees breath easier everywhere (especially all 7 match day officials)
The FIFA World Cup finals are held in *****lia, with FIFA wanting to continue their plan of extending football to countries who are as known for football as Wayne Rooney is for his excellent intelligence.
