I'd go to the cafe for a decent breakfast, catch up on some box sets or films, go through my underwear drawer and finally get to throwing out all the holey rags I call pants, the same with the tired old socks too. Get onto the internet to look at repulsive filth for a few hours, back up to the bedroom, stick on the porn, put on a pair of the wife's scants and use her rampant rabbit up the arse while I jerk off and blow my muck all over my belly. Put the rabbit back in "the place you'll never find it" (after cleaning it, I'm not a total animal) and go to bed.
Get up in the morning, repeat previous day making sure I delete browsing history, clean her undies, make sure the dildo doesn't honk of sh1t, cover over the "secret" hiding place so she doesn't know, put the porn back in the place where I hope she's never found it, a quick hoover up downstairs, walk around the garden in my boots, leave these by the door, spray the house with Febreeze and when she comes home tell her I've been going for long walks each day and oops, sorry I never put the boots away because she will have to find something to moan about.
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