Worst Drunk You've Seen.

Once saw my brother, as a young man, so pissed he couldn't walk. So we sat him up against a fence. He was mute. So drunk that his speech was ****ed and his body was useless. His head had fallen forward so his chin was resting on his chest.

We could see it coming. His gut was churning and he was about to spray. And out it came, a river of foul coloured, chunky yellow filth. His head didn't move. The spew spread all over his chest and lap. It seemed like he was vomiting buckets of the stuff. Geez it was a good night.

 

I drunk a whole bottle of whisky in 2 glasses over 5 mins on my 16th bday and tried to go for a swim.

Ended up being fished out of the pool and thrown onto a campbed, where I proceeded to throw up so much that it was about an inch deep.

My mum found me the next morning and still hasn't forgiven me.

 

Balls.

 

That's the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear about 16 year old boys?

 

One Christmas we were walking through the snow up to the pub and saw a guy walking towards us in his scants with his jeans draped over an arm. As he passed us he said "**** maself" and staggered on.

At a stag do we lost one of the lads. We found him three pubs back sitting in a toilet cubicle out cold, troosers and pants roon his ankles. He'd shat into the toilet and puked up into his troosers and pants.

 

Balls

 

Let it all out Toby, we all wish you drowned too...

 

This never happened.

Apart from Toby's mother being dissapointed with him

 

Tramp outside a KFC in Finsbury Park. He'd collapsed half in and half out of the door but punters were still climbing over him, I think he'd tried to take a dump before he passed out as his trousers were round his ankles and his arse was covered in **** and blood. It also looked like he'd hawked into his filthy matted beard.

Still, my Zinger burger was lovely.

 

Coming from the twat with all the imaginary friends.

 

Is the greenock catman a jakey?

 

I've only got 1 imaginary friend called Toby, the rest are real.

 

Loads of stories about drunks...especially myself but cany't be ****ed telling them!

So **** ye...

 

Why oh why oh why does Toby still post on here if he hates us all so much?...... I think the mothers dissapointment thing is a huge breakthrough ....

 

There's only a few ****s on here I can't stand, the others are cool.

Now why don't you get the **** off here and stop obsessing about me

 

Think I've said this before. All he does is moan and bitch. Yet he keeps coming back.

 

Was this directed at mother?

 

You name drop me 5-6 times a day you sad ****.

I'm not getting involved in a pointless argument with you 2 cretins, I've got work to do.

Medro those shelves aren't going to stack themselves, you better crack on with it too

 

Will you lot shut the **** up.

I want to know if the catman is a jakey.

 

No I don't.

You don't.

I don't stack shelves.

Toby Fail.