Oh - this is very similar to a story you told in this thread:
http://www.not606.com/showthread.php/151536-Villas-Boas which also involved a childhood friend puking and bleeding which really made me laugh at the time. Now I can only suspect that you invent these stories and the world is, for me, a slightly duller place.
Still, for dedication to juvenile, gross-out comedy I still give you five stars. And I like the inclusion of dog **** in the face for this latest tale.
With regards to the topic - Cole won't come, we don't really need him and we'd never pay his wages.