Landlord, We need to make a provisional booking of the function room on 6th March for the fast approaching St Wunnuffincks Day celebrations. Providing Sunderland can do the business at the weekend we will confirm the date.
Following Hymns sung by the Arsene Wenger Memorial Junior Choir, (we thought it might be a good touch and Arsene agreed), the cremation of Ar5ena1's season at the hands of Milan will be held at the Emirates Crematorium. We think that a black tie affair would be fitting. Women should wear evening wear apart from Luke's woman of course who will be wearing the traditional wellies filled with custard. Then it will be back to the Bill Nick where the party will begin.
If Chas and Dave can't make it, we're hoping that we can organise entertainment in the form of an All in Wrestling Match featuring Piskie and Jamrag, (two decent signings, a managerial resignation or a knockout to decide the winner). Two comedians (Foy and Webb) have been booked to add to the party atmosphere.
The event will be sponsored by Specsavers, which incidentally is where Wenger should have gone during the transfer window.
The Ashes of Arsenals season shall then be taken to White Hart Lane and spread in a manner to honour our lesser neighbours. (flushed down the loo actually but we wont tell them that)
Entry will be by invite only (or anyone else who wants a good laugh)
RSVP-Which is exactly what Wenger said at half time in the San Siro.
Carriages will be at midnight (or 11:50 for goons because they alway leave 10 minutes before the end)