The it’s ok to not be ok thread
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Brilliant Ozzy…till the end. I mentioned in my previous post when you both had the set back to keep trying…well god loves a trier. Fabulous newsSo following on from the emotional rollercoaster earlier in the week we received a call on Friday evening asking us to come down to the hospital again as they potentially had another liver.
We headed back down on Friday evening and all i coukd think about was how the hell i would pick her up again if the liver was unsuitable. She herself was thinking the same and most of our discussions that evening and into the wee hours were about that subject. We were told that we would know for certain by 8am Saturday morning.
8am came and passed with no word. The anaesthetist came round and told us the surgical team was all prepped and ready to go once the final checks of the donor liver were completed.
8:30am a nurse came in and told us it was definately going ahead. Cue tears and lots of them but tears borne through joy and stress relief, my girl was going to live.
8:45am and a call from the transplant coordinator. Nothing was actually confirmed yet as they still had the final visual inspection of the donor liver to be undertaken. F*ck, here we go again. My wife understandably was fearing the worst given the experience earlier in the week.
9:07am and the theatre nurses came with the bed, it was happening, finally after almost 2 years it was frigging happening. She's wheeled staright down to theatre and as the bed goes through the doors she is smiling with the biggest smile i've seen form her since she was diagnosed.
It's a bloody long operation and obviously i'm as nervous as hell and worried all day. 5:15pm i get the call that the surgery has been a success and she's now in ICU. Straight in the car and thnsk god there were no speed cameras out on the way
Saturday night she's pretty much out of it and i think that she'll never remember that i was with her until about 11pm. Back home and back again at 4am.
We'd been told that she would be in ICU for at least 48 hours, possibly longer. While i was there the physio came round and they actually managed to get her to stand. I was ****ting myself watching it.
Back home for an hour or 2 and i received a text from her simply saying "I ate jelly". After any form of abdominal surgery thats a big step and wasn't expected on the first day.
5pm Saturday she's moved out of ICU and onto the ward. She's in a ton of pain but it's healing pain rather than dying pain. We still have a long road as the anti-rejection drugs started Sunday evening which will kill her immune system for a while but she's a fighter that's for sure.
Thank you everyone for your well wishes and supportive words, this forum is bloody amazing and has been a great support for me during this process.
Great news, so pleased for you bothSo following on from the emotional rollercoaster earlier in the week we received a call on Friday evening asking us to come down to the hospital again as they potentially had another liver.
We headed back down on Friday evening and all i coukd think about was how the hell i would pick her up again if the liver was unsuitable. She herself was thinking the same and most of our discussions that evening and into the wee hours were about that subject. We were told that we would know for certain by 8am Saturday morning.
8am came and passed with no word. The anaesthetist came round and told us the surgical team was all prepped and ready to go once the final checks of the donor liver were completed.
8:30am a nurse came in and told us it was definately going ahead. Cue tears and lots of them but tears borne through joy and stress relief, my girl was going to live.
8:45am and a call from the transplant coordinator. Nothing was actually confirmed yet as they still had the final visual inspection of the donor liver to be undertaken. F*ck, here we go again. My wife understandably was fearing the worst given the experience earlier in the week.
9:07am and the theatre nurses came with the bed, it was happening, finally after almost 2 years it was frigging happening. She's wheeled staright down to theatre and as the bed goes through the doors she is smiling with the biggest smile i've seen form her since she was diagnosed.
It's a bloody long operation and obviously i'm as nervous as hell and worried all day. 5:15pm i get the call that the surgery has been a success and she's now in ICU. Straight in the car and thnsk god there were no speed cameras out on the way
Saturday night she's pretty much out of it and i think that she'll never remember that i was with her until about 11pm. Back home and back again at 4am.
We'd been told that she would be in ICU for at least 48 hours, possibly longer. While i was there the physio came round and they actually managed to get her to stand. I was ****ting myself watching it.
Back home for an hour or 2 and i received a text from her simply saying "I ate jelly". After any form of abdominal surgery thats a big step and wasn't expected on the first day.
5pm Saturday she's moved out of ICU and onto the ward. She's in a ton of pain but it's healing pain rather than dying pain. We still have a long road as the anti-rejection drugs started Sunday evening which will kill her immune system for a while but she's a fighter that's for sure.
Thank you everyone for your well wishes and supportive words, this forum is bloody amazing and has been a great support for me during this process.
Well im struggling again and not ashamed to admit it.
Its the quiet times, when the kids are settled and work is done that it builds up.
Made worse that I know i have to be the responsible adult next week, to be strong for Mam and for Ange and the kids.
You would think after a year things would be easier, but its building up and all the memories are flooding back.
Im going to go to Andys Club on Monday, maybe having a vent to some strangers will help, maybe posting on here will help, I dont know all I know is posting this is helping clear my head
Sorry again lads and lasses
Its the quiet times, when the kids are settled and work is done that it builds up.
Made worse that I know i have to be the responsible adult next week, to be strong for Mam and for Ange and the kids.
You would think after a year things would be easier, but its building up and all the memories are flooding back.
Im going to go to Andys Club on Monday, maybe having a vent to some strangers will help, maybe posting on here will help, I dont know all I know is posting this is helping clear my head
Sorry again lads and lasses
Don't be sorry. We're all here for you
Hang in there Chunks....god bless...LA
Nowt to apologise for fella.
Do whatever actually helps you.
I found that after all of the firsts since my Dad died (day/week/month/birthday/Christmas/ year) things did start to become more bearable. It doesn’t kill the pain, but does numb it to a degree.
Thoughts are with you Chunk. There's no right or wrong way to deal with grief as it affects us all differently.
Whilst staying strong for the family is important it's equally, if not more important to make time for yourself.
Whilst staying strong for the family is important it's equally, if not more important to make time for yourself.
Never be sorry mate.
The "firsts" are the hardest ones to get through. Stay strong for the family, but look after yourself as well mate. Going to Andy's Man Club is a good thing to do.
Keep talking. If there's anything we can do, just say. We're all with you pet xx
Curious one today, certain family members got in touch asking how everyone was.
Apparently my answer of "Fine" was harsh. Struggling to see why as this time last year I had know idea what would happen tomorrow.
I skipped Andys club monday as I felt ok within myself and so far im holding it together and enjoying the build up to sunday.
Will i be different tomorrow? I guess i will, but let's see what tomorrow brings
Sorry again, but it helps me to write it down
Apparently my answer of "Fine" was harsh. Struggling to see why as this time last year I had know idea what would happen tomorrow.
I skipped Andys club monday as I felt ok within myself and so far im holding it together and enjoying the build up to sunday.
Will i be different tomorrow? I guess i will, but let's see what tomorrow brings
Sorry again, but it helps me to write it down
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Strange one that mate. Sometimes people already have it in their head to be negative about a person before theyve even said something so your on a hiding to nothing, so whoever said that was harsh is being harsh themselves
Stop apologising. The way you feel can change day to day - even within that one day. One minute you can be fine, then you hear a song on the radio and it brings a memory you would rather not think about to the fore. Glad you're feeling good and even more glad you decided to write it down on here which you feel helps - do whatever works for you
Ive replayed last year so many times in my head, I know tomorrow is coming, I know what happened at what time.
Its our lass I feel the worst for, she held it all together till I got home from Wembley so we could tell the kids.
And then I worry about Mam, shes done brilliant this year, but have I done enough to help her?
Being an adult is hard
Forgive me if this doesn't come across as it's meant. When things aren't as we would like them to be, we tend to think about others without giving ourselves a second thought - I've done that myself. What people told me at the time, and I thought basically " yeah, ok", if you don't look after yourself first, you won't be able to look after people you care about. There will be times you need to put yourself first, relax, do things you want to do. You'll probably find it hard but you need to do it, not just for you but for your family as well
I'm not sure I should comment on all of this tbh, plenty of people have any given good advice.
Speaking for myself I'd just like to say I remember having quite a heated discussion with you a while back.
It was to do with differing views we had, concerning the club, and I was having a go at anyone, and everyone, who was having a go at the club. I don't remember the subject but it would've probably been about the progress by KLD or the BCB derby stuff ... I honestly dunno.
Anyway, you weren't holding back and, as usual, neither was I ...
... in view of what I now realise you were going through I should probably apologise.
I'm sorry, although I don't recall the details I feel like I went too far.
People are weird man.
After my Dad died, a friend asked if I'd seen a robin. I said "oh yes one visits the garden regularly." She kept saying "that'll be your Dad looking out for you." I was just like "nah, it's just the robin that lives here." She thought I was being heartless as she wanted me to start crying over a robin.
You do what's best for you and your family, and don't dance to the tune of others. We're all with you and will support you however you feel is best for you. Take care mate xx
No need to apologise at all, whats happened is no excuse and ive come to realise in life different views and options should.be discussed not dismissed.
If anything its me who should apologise to you and all the posters on here, you gave all given me so much support
No need to apologise at all, whats happened is no excuse and ive come to realise in life different views and options should.be discussed not dismissed.
If anything its me who should apologise to you and all the posters on here, you gave all given me so much support that its
Ive heard the Robin story as well. Then urge to scream " I didnt see it when they were here" is interesting.
Again sorry for bringing the mood down but unfortunatley for you lot I consider you all friends