Milou (17) is no longer with us. After her euthanasia, a heated debate erupted.
Two years ago, euthanasia ended years of suffering for Milou, who was only 17 years old.
The once lively girl was, in her teens, a shadow of the cheerful child she used to be.
After her euthanasia, a debate erupted about this sensitive subject, even reaching the political arena in The Hague.
You can now watch a documentary about this – and especially about Milou.
Milou’s struggle continues is the apt title of the documentary that NTR is broadcasting tonight. It is a struggle to draw attention to young people with psychological trauma and to gain understanding for the desire to die of these, often still, children.
But not everyone agrees with the latter.
Metro saw Milou’s struggle continues for the television programme Blik op de Buis.
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Last year, we did the same with Medialogica Ontleedt: Attention to euthanasia as a result of psychological suffering on the same subject.
Tonight’s documentary is long, an hour and a half, but absolutely thorough (and interesting and sad).
Euthanasia was Milou’s salvation
Euthanasia brought Milou her much-desired salvation. For years, she struggled with psychological trauma and failed therapies from many practitioners, resulting in several failed suicide attempts.
Towards the end of her life, Milou was convinced that she ‘did not want her parents to find her’.
By choosing euthanasia, the teenager wanted to say goodbye with dignity to her parents Mireille and Louis, her two brothers and her friends.
When Mireille once dared to ask her daughter if she ever thought about death, she said: ‘All the time, Mum.’
Her mother plays a prominent role in this documentary. Mireille is a woman with a lot of grief, but she tells her story in a calm manner. “Yes, how do you prepare for the death of your child?
As a parent, you can’t imagine that, and we knew it was going to happen.
That our child would just walk up the stairs that day, towards death. When I opened the fridge, I saw cartons of milk that had a longer shelf life than my child.
Because it was going to happen on that day and at that time. But at the last moment, when we were upstairs, we said: Milou, it’s okay.”
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Is euthanasia allowed at a young age?
Under Dutch law, it is possible to receive euthanasia from the age of 12 under very strict conditions. It is possible in cases of unbearable suffering due to illness, but also in cases of hopeless psychological suffering.
In the Netherlands, the number of euthanasia procedures performed on young people under the age of 30 has been rising in recent years. This involves several dozen cases.
In total, 10,000 Dutch people received this end-of-life treatment last year.
Milou wanted to help everyone
Milou was the kind of child you always saw doing handstands, and her dream was to become a (musical) singer.
Her father Louis called her Mother Theresa because she cared about the suffering of others and always wanted to help. Whether it was a poor dog on Curaçao or the boy who was being bullied in her school class.
When her little brother, who has Down syndrome, falls into a coma after suffering from double pneumonia, Milou sits by his bedside in the hospital for days on end.
From that moment on, things really went wrong for the girl. Later, sexual abuse was added to the mix, during a film night at someone’s home and several times by a client of a mental health institution where Milou was also being treated.
A teenager who wanted to help everyone, but couldn’t help herself. Milou was ultimately exhausted and very grateful to psychiatrist Menno Oosterhoff for supporting her wish for euthanasia (as were her parents and two friends in the documentary, incidentally).
Oosterhoff also performed the euthanasia and now says about young people who are “struggling”: “They don’t want to end their lives, but their suffering.”
Milou herself explains this in the film. AI has been able to mimic her voice using old conversations, which is a nice addition.
A bomb under euthanasia policy
After her death, there is of course mourning, but something completely unexpected also happens. Fourteen psychiatrists and doctors send an urgent letter to the Public Prosecution Service urging a preliminary criminal investigation into euthanasia among young people.
They refer specifically to the death of a 17-year-old girl. It soon becomes clear that they are talking about Milou. Half of the writers are anonymous, the other half have never met Milou.
Mother Mireille and father Louis do not know what is happening to them. They feel that doctors want to use their daughter, whom they do not know, to undermine the euthanasia policy.
In the documentary, they say that they are being accused of “just shopping around for euthanasia”.
In the Dutch Parliament, political party NSC, through Rosanne Hertzberger, presents an initiative memorandum that sides with the letter writers: as far as the NSC is concerned, the euthanasia law should be put on hold for three years to “think about it calmly”.
Doctors who have difficulty with euthanasia for young people
It’s not just people who were on Milou’s side who are featured in Milou’s struggle continues.
Psychiatrists and doctors who have great difficulty with the possibility of euthanasia for young people also share their thoughts.
That’s fine in a documentary, of course. However, this documentary is mainly about Milou and aims to give a face to mental suffering among young people and make it discussable. Milou is now that face, and wherever she is, she will be a little proud of that.
In the end, no one could stop her from fulfilling her wish. Her mother Mireille says: “I thought a lot about what it would be like if I said: no, sorry darling, we’re really not going to do that.
I love you too much and I can’t live without you.
Would I then be able to expect her to wake up every day with a monster in her head telling her she shouldn’t be alive anymore? Would she then have to suffer like that every day for my sake?
I would find that incredibly selfish of myself.”
