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Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different
- Thread starter Dr.Stanley O'Google, HCFC
- Start date
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A woman was walking on the beach when she came across a genie lamp.
She picked up the lamp, rubbed it, and lo and behold, a genie appeared.
Surprised, the woman soon came to her senses and asked if she had three wishes.
The genie replied, “No… Due to inflation, constant downsizing and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So what will you wish for?”
The woman did not hesitate.
She took out a map and said, “I wish for peace in the Middle East. You see this map? I want these countries to stop fighting each other.
The genie looked at the map and exclaimed: “My goodness, ma’am! These people have been fighting for thousands of years! I am good, but not that good! This is not possible. Make another wish.”
The woman thought for a moment and said: “Well, I’ve never found the right man, you know, someone who’s thoughtful and funny, who likes to cook and help clean the house, who’s good in bed and gets along with my family, who doesn’t watch sports all the time, and who’s faithful. That’s what I want to be a happy wife.”
The genie let out a long sigh, shook his head and said, “Let me see that map again!
She picked up the lamp, rubbed it, and lo and behold, a genie appeared.
Surprised, the woman soon came to her senses and asked if she had three wishes.
The genie replied, “No… Due to inflation, constant downsizing and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So what will you wish for?”
The woman did not hesitate.
She took out a map and said, “I wish for peace in the Middle East. You see this map? I want these countries to stop fighting each other.
The genie looked at the map and exclaimed: “My goodness, ma’am! These people have been fighting for thousands of years! I am good, but not that good! This is not possible. Make another wish.”
The woman thought for a moment and said: “Well, I’ve never found the right man, you know, someone who’s thoughtful and funny, who likes to cook and help clean the house, who’s good in bed and gets along with my family, who doesn’t watch sports all the time, and who’s faithful. That’s what I want to be a happy wife.”
The genie let out a long sigh, shook his head and said, “Let me see that map again!
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The first time I ever saw Brian Blessed was in "Z cars" and i've liked him ever since.
He's funny as ****.
Thank you, i've been trying to remember his characters name in z cars.Fancy that.
Never one for taking the 'softly softly' approach,are you?Fancy that.
Cut him and his flippancy out altogether and use Google Rover...
Bit of a zephyr, aren’t you?Fancy that.
I'll put money on him being a pisscase(sic).
Wrong, Ric the bookies friend, despite the rumours I'm well balanced.
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Eric Morcambe met Jimmy Greaves at a ‘Goal Diggers’ event and asked him: ‘What would you be if you weren’t a footballer and able to score goals?’
Jimmy replied ‘I had a job lined up as a compositor at The Times’ then asked Eric ‘What would you have been if you weren’t funny?’
Eric replied ‘Mike and Bernie Winters’
Jimmy replied ‘I had a job lined up as a compositor at The Times’ then asked Eric ‘What would you have been if you weren’t funny?’
Eric replied ‘Mike and Bernie Winters’
Sure i've seen this film.
I have as well. Thank fook someone finally explained the plot