Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different
- Thread starter Dr.Stanley O'Google, HCFC
- Start date
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Celine Dion just came out in support of the farmers. She’s taking all the consonants out of her name.
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Felt for the poor lass, not the brightest but she got tough questions. Did better in the end though.
The other guys were taking the piss telling her to go high. "You're good enough to go high". She'd just ****ing failed to answer a single question!
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Has anyone watched this.... Alex Honnold free climbing Taipei 101.... the bit with the people filming inside was the 89th floor.... h said he got paid an obscene amount of money for doing it.... fair play....
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It was on the news earlier, they said it was streamed live with a ten second delay, can't think why.
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Saw the border Collie, then noticed the posting account. Still think it's worth appreciating the dog. No offence meant as I don't want it to get political..
As I read it the fee he got was obscene because it was so small, 'embarrassingly small' he has said.
He said he'd climb it for nowt because it was there but Netflix got hold of him.
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A duck walked into a pub and ordered a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.
The barman looked at him and said, “Hang on! You're a duck!”
"I see your eyes are working,” replied the duck.
"And you can talk!!” exclaimed the barman.
"I see your ears are working, too.” said the duck. "Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"
"Certainly. Sorry about that.” said the barman as he pulled the duck's pint. "It's just we don't get many a ducks in this pub. What are you doing around this way?"
"I'm working on the building site across the road” explained the duck. "I'm a plasterer."
The flabbergasted barman couldn’t believe the duck and wanted to learn more but took the hint when the duck pulled a newspaper from his bag and proceeded to read it.
The duck read his paper, drank his beer, ate his sandwich, paid up, bid the barman a good day and left.
The same thing happened every few days for two weeks.
Then one day the circus came to town.
The ringmaster walked into the pub for a pint and the barman said, "You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!"
"Sounds marvelous!” said the ringmaster, handing over his business card. "Get him to give me a call."
The next day when the duck came into the pub the barman said, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money."
“Swell. I’m always looking for the next job.” said the duck. "Where is it?”
"At the circus.” said the barman.
"The circus?" repeated the duck.
"That's right.” replied the barman.
"The circus?” the duck asked again.
“With the big tent?”
"Yeah.” the barman replied.
"With all the animals that live in cages and performers who live in caravans?" asked the duck.
"Of course,” the barman replied.
"And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persisted the duck.
"That's right.” said the barman.
The duck shook his head in amazement, and said “What the **** would they want with a plasterer?”
The barman looked at him and said, “Hang on! You're a duck!”
"I see your eyes are working,” replied the duck.
"And you can talk!!” exclaimed the barman.
"I see your ears are working, too.” said the duck. "Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"
"Certainly. Sorry about that.” said the barman as he pulled the duck's pint. "It's just we don't get many a ducks in this pub. What are you doing around this way?"
"I'm working on the building site across the road” explained the duck. "I'm a plasterer."
The flabbergasted barman couldn’t believe the duck and wanted to learn more but took the hint when the duck pulled a newspaper from his bag and proceeded to read it.
The duck read his paper, drank his beer, ate his sandwich, paid up, bid the barman a good day and left.
The same thing happened every few days for two weeks.
Then one day the circus came to town.
The ringmaster walked into the pub for a pint and the barman said, "You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!"
"Sounds marvelous!” said the ringmaster, handing over his business card. "Get him to give me a call."
The next day when the duck came into the pub the barman said, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money."
“Swell. I’m always looking for the next job.” said the duck. "Where is it?”
"At the circus.” said the barman.
"The circus?" repeated the duck.
"That's right.” replied the barman.
"The circus?” the duck asked again.
“With the big tent?”
"Yeah.” the barman replied.
"With all the animals that live in cages and performers who live in caravans?" asked the duck.
"Of course,” the barman replied.
"And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persisted the duck.
"That's right.” said the barman.
The duck shook his head in amazement, and said “What the **** would they want with a plasterer?”