Off Topic What grinds your gears

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We’re pregnant with our first child.

What?

We’re pregnant, aren’t you going to say Congratulations?

Who’s pregnant?

We are.

We are? Your Missus is no doubt. But you’re not. Say Louisa’s pregnant with our first child and I’ll say Congratulations. And later reluctantly attend your baby shower where I will reluctantly hand over the cheapest item from the baby shower itemised email list that you will no doubt thoughtfully provide to me.


But I won’t be attending your gender reveal party in the interests of safety as I’d inevitably end up killing someone.
 
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Ernie Shackleton said:
We’re pregnant with our first child.

What?

We’re pregnant, aren’t you going to say Congratulations?

Who’s pregnant?

We are.

We are? Your Missus is no doubt. But you’re not. Say Louisa’s pregnant with our first child and I’ll say Congratulations. And later reluctantly attend your baby shower where I will reluctantly hand over the cheapest item from the baby shower itemised email list that you will no doubt thoughtfully provide to me.


But I won’t be attending your gender reveal party in the interests of safety as I’d inevitably end up killing someone.
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100 hundred percent Ernie. Gender reveal FFS
 
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Ernie Shackleton said:
We’re pregnant with our first child.

What?

We’re pregnant, aren’t you going to say Congratulations?

Who’s pregnant?

We are.

We are? Your Missus is no doubt. But you’re not. Say Louisa’s pregnant with our first child and I’ll say Congratulations. And later reluctantly attend your baby shower where I will reluctantly hand over the cheapest item from the baby shower itemised email list that you will no doubt thoughtfully provide to me.


But I won’t be attending your gender reveal party in the interests of safety as I’d inevitably end up killing someone.
Click to expand...
And when did the idea of blokes going to baby showers start?
Nope
 
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balkan tiger said:
The highways agency, **** wits who think they are some sort of police with their phony look alike vehicles, uniforms including epauletts.

Talking about tail gating and their examples shown on TV are on a 4 lane motorway where the first 3 lanes are occupied by trucks crawling past each other causing a hold up as all the faster travelling cars only have 1 lane to use. They fail to even comment on this and only focus on the vehicles that are too close to the one in front.
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I like to overtake them at speed. I can only imagine how sad they feel not having a blue light to switch on.
 
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Ernie Shackleton said:
We’re pregnant with our first child.

What?

We’re pregnant, aren’t you going to say Congratulations?

Who’s pregnant?

We are.

We are? Your Missus is no doubt. But you’re not. Say Louisa’s pregnant with our first child and I’ll say Congratulations. And later reluctantly attend your baby shower where I will reluctantly hand over the cheapest item from the baby shower itemised email list that you will no doubt thoughtfully provide to me.


But I won’t be attending your gender reveal party in the interests of safety as I’d inevitably end up killing someone.
Click to expand...

You are going to a ********* what? I asked. WTF is a gender reveal party? Why not look at the scan and either keep it to yourselves or just tell everyone? A ******** party???? The person patiently trying to explain it to me, stopped mid-sentence and changed tack. Not for you is it.
 
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originalminority said:
When my children were born we still had christenings, this served perfectly well as the celebration, gathering and gifting.
BTW what is the new fangled etiquette on baby showers for second borns?
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Use the first one again no point in getting another when you only used the first once.
 
Ernie Shackleton said:
We’re pregnant with our first child.

What?

We’re pregnant, aren’t you going to say Congratulations?

Who’s pregnant?

We are.

We are? Your Missus is no doubt. But you’re not. Say Louisa’s pregnant with our first child and I’ll say Congratulations. And later reluctantly attend your baby shower where I will reluctantly hand over the cheapest item from the baby shower itemised email list that you will no doubt thoughtfully provide to me.


But I won’t be attending your gender reveal party in the interests of safety as I’d inevitably end up killing someone.
Click to expand...
It means that the surrogate is pregnant
 
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originalminority said:
When my children were born we still had christenings, this served perfectly well as the celebration, gathering and gifting.
BTW what is the new fangled etiquette on baby showers for second borns?
Click to expand...
I walked along to a remote village pub last weekend,a real 'keep off the moors' experience to be honest.

There was a baby shower going on in the lounge,loads of couples in attendance...

In order to avoid the baby shower,I sat outside in a rain shower,it made more sense:emoticon-0148-yes:
 
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Ric Glasgow said:
I walked along to a remote village pub last weekend,a real 'keep off the moors' experience to be honest.

There was a baby shower going on in the lounge,loads of couples in attendance...

In order to avoid the baby shower,I sat outside in a rain shower,it made more sense:emoticon-0148-yes:
Click to expand...
I’d like to shake your hand due to your determination to do the right thing Ric.
 
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dennisboothstash said:
If a copper was sacked after restraining someone for riding a scooter you can 100% guarantee they didn’t just ‘restrain’ them at all.

The bar to get over for being sacked for assault is high. The ones that worry about whether they’d stay under that bar aren’t the ones we need in that job.
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How wrong you are.
 
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Ernie Shackleton said:
We’re pregnant with our first child.

What?

We’re pregnant, aren’t you going to say Congratulations?

Who’s pregnant?

We are.

We are? Your Missus is no doubt. But you’re not. Say Louisa’s pregnant with our first child and I’ll say Congratulations. And later reluctantly attend your baby shower where I will reluctantly hand over the cheapest item from the baby shower itemised email list that you will no doubt thoughtfully provide to me.


But I won’t be attending your gender reveal party in the interests of safety as I’d inevitably end up killing someone.
Click to expand...
I was going to comment on this at the time, but the very words 'baby shower' and 'gender reveal' sent me to the fridge for a large beer. I had never heard of a baby shower until a couple of years ago until our niece sent an invite to the Mrs. The conversation went along the lines of

Mrs: I've got an invite to a baby shower.
Me: Is that the same as wetting the baby's head as I have been to loads back in the day when mates had babies. Sometimes I didn't even have to know the lad much, if at all, but they were great nights.
Mrs: No, she is pregnant and they invite people round to celebrate. It's at the Hilton.
Me: Before it's born?
Mrs: Yes.
Me: That's ****ing bonkers. With the dangers of pregnancy and childbirth?
Mrs: Yes.
Me: Well, when you buy a present off John Lewis, which you inevitably will rather than Primark, is it worth keeping the receipt?
Mrs: Oh **** off grumpy.

And yes, there was also a gender reveal and I ensured I was completely pissed before the reveal.
 
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