Just went gathering firewood in a forest (stealing pine logs from a plantation). Dragged the logs into the forest to process them. Bashing the **** out of them and a brown snake (pretty deadly) falls out of the sky near me. At first I thought it had fallen out of a tree, incredibly unlikely to the point of impossible. Then I realised it was probably on the log I was chopping and it must have flicked up into thr air as the log sprang up. Now if you'll excuse me... I need to change my underwear.
After the melodrama with the airborne brown snake I've been on high alert. Once again I soiled myself when I found what looked like a tiger snake (nasty ****ers) slithering through my garden. Grabbed my (pretty blunt) axe and went to town on it when I was done I realised I'd chopped/bludgeoned a blue tongue lizard to a pulp. Best part of it is, those lizards are pretty friendly with humans and they keep snake populations low by eating their eggs. I think I need to move back to the ****ing city.
Away with work. Goes to the lift to go out and this bloke gets in. No shoes. I’m like hmm is he going downstairs to complain or has he got some other issue. Nope straight out the hotel over the road and into Sainsbury’s. And I’m not sure that’s not some kind or pj set either!
Worked with a bloke that imported a triumph tr6 from California to restore. He was cleaning some leaves from the gearstick gator and a big spider ran across his hand. Apparently he nearly **** his pants
I've just seen an expert witness get up and say they're not an expert. At which point his evidence ended. In the style of 'Deny everything, Baldrick'
