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Off Topic The Rep Brothel

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Albert's Chip Shop, Jul 26, 2011.

  1. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  2. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  3. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  4. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  5. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    A guy turned up to our fancy dress work party.

    I asked, "What in God's name are you supposed to be?

    "He replied, "I've come as an aerosol can."

    I asked, "Are you sure?"

    He said, "No, Right guard."
     
    #48945
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  6. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  7. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  8. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  9. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    I was at a works do and the conversation was boring to say the least, all people talked about was their work........

    Anyway I got stuck talking to a fella who told me he job was looking into Genetic Modification of Salad Leaves.......

    I said to him, it's not Rocket Science is it.......
     
    #48949
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  10. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  11. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  12. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  13. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  14. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  15. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  16. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  17. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  18. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  19. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Did you hear about the Pre-School teacher who was helping one of the children put on his "Wellie boot's"?
    He asked for help and she could see why..
    Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little "Wellie's" still didn't want to go on.
    By the time they got the second "Wellie" on, she had worked up a sweat.
    She almost cried when the little boy said, "Miss, they're on the wrong feet."
    She looked, and sure enough, they were.
    It wasn't any easier pulling the "Wellie's" off than it was putting them on.
    She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the "Wellie's" back on,
    this time on the right feet..
    He then announced, "These aren't my Wellies."
    She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream,
    'Why didn't you say so?' like she wanted to.
    Once again, she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting "Wellie's" off his little feet.
    No sooner had they gotten the "Wellie's" off when he said,
    "They're my brother's "Wellie's", My mom made me wear 'them.'
    Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry.
    But, she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the "Wellie's" on his feet again.
    Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your gloves?"
    He said, "I stuffed 'them in the toes of my Wellie's".
    She will be eligible for parole in three years!
     
    #48959
  20. FadgewackeR

    FadgewackeR Well-Known Member

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    But with her last breath she said "Free yourself from Binary thought processes"

    Brilliant.
     
    #48960

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