Rival watch

Not that desperate, I'm going to dig a verruca out of my foot with a blunt kitchen knife instead

 

Surprised with Schmeichel's move , I thought he would see his time out at Leicester, could be he hates their fans and their stupid flappy bits of paper as much as I do.
On a plus point for him , no Kane to spank him season on season

 

In the ‘80s these two might have been playing for much higher stakes

 

Both still unbeaten against Barcelona, sort of. They have played them, too.

 

If no de Jong, Utd could do worse than pick up Tielemans and Neves for similar money combined.
It’s good to dream.

 

Dundee United take the lead against Alkmaar:

Former Man Utd youngster Dylan Levitt starts the move. Looks a decent prospect.

 

The Chelsea spending spree continues. Are we sure Abramovich isn't still in charge?

 

I knew somehow they’d come out of this summer smelling of roses

They’ve actually made some good signings, i don’t think they’ll get close to City or Liverpool but best of the rest again is easily possible for them

 

Well somebody's not going to be commentating games on Merseyside anytime soon...

 

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Rapist? Check.
Player connected to alleged match-fixing? Check.
Brian? Check.
Column? Check.

 

Here’s hoping his knee gets right angled. I’ll cheer that like a goal.

 

Nomads and their rapier-like wit...

 

Bayern are 2-0 up after ten minutes. Bundesliga season over already, basically.

 

Jesus has started well, looking really confident, Arsenal well up for this.

 

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Not my bet, but how is that 9/1?!

 

Yeah but it all ended in tears

 

Got a feeling the goons will start the season well, Jesus will win player of the month, Merson will call them title contenders and then reality will hit before Christmas

 

Thought I'd watch the Palace game but can't find a link that works.

 

Palace 0-1 Rapists. Shocking goalkeeping and awful defending.