A man goes to the doctor's. He has a fried egg over one eye, a sausage sticking out of his ear and a rasher of bacon up one nostril. He says 'Doc, I feel terrible' and the doctor replies 'I'm not surprised - you're not eating properly'.
It's not rocket science... https://news.sky.com/story/amp/rock...rter-than-the-rest-of-us-study-finds-12495355
Fancy buying a scratch card with a stolen card and then winning £4m, talk about getting what you deserve. Two men who bought a National Lottery scratch card using stolen debit card details and then tried to claim the £4m jackpot they revealed have been jailed. Jon Watson, of Bolton, and Mark Goodram went to London to beg in 2019 and bought the winning card in Clapham. They were found out when claiming the prize, as they revealed they did not have a bank account, despite using a debit card to buy the item. Admitting fraud at Bolton Crown Court, they were both jailed for 18 months. The court heard the men, aged 34 and 38, travelled from Bolton to London on 22 April 2019. 'Sense of injustice' Denise Fitzpatrick, prosecuting, said the pair, who were both on licence following previous prison sentences, had the details of a debit card belonging to a man they did not know. She said Goodram had the card number and expiry date written on his hand and used them to buy £90 of shopping at a Londis store on Clapham High Street and £71 of goods, including five scratch cards, at a Waitrose store on Clapham Common. The court was told one card had a £10 prize, which was claimed in the Londis store, while another had the jackpot prize. please log in to view this image IMAGE SOURCE,GOOGLE Image caption, The men bought the jackpot-holding scratch card at the Waitrose store on Clapham Common Watson telephoned the National Lottery line to tell them his friend had won, Ms Fitzpatrick said, before Goodram then told the operator he would be sharing the prize with his friend. He was informed the payment would be made by bank transfer. "Mark Goodram explained he did not have a bank account, [but] the purchase of the winning scratch card had been made by debit card from a bank account... which immediately raised suspicions," she said. The court was also told Goodram, of no fixed address, and Watson, of Nuttall Avenue, Little Lever, spoke to the media when the prize was not paid out. Sentencing them, Recorder Sarah Johnston said the pair, who had numerous previous convictions, had deprived the next customer to win a "life-changing sum of money" before having the "audacity to plead your sense of injustice in the national newspapers". "You must have thought all of your Christmases had come at once," she said. "Despite knowing you had fraudulently acquired that prize money, you tried to claim it. "I have no doubt that both of you will continue to offend in dishonest ways in the future." https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-59654724
Thought I'd spend a couple of hours just pottering in the garden doing a bit of winter tidying, then my wife came back from the Garden Centre with a great big ornamental timepiece, which she's gone and stuck in the middle of the garden Now I’m having to work around the clock...
Thought exactly the same... the bank will likely say the money spent has been refunded to the card, so essentially the transaction was null and void... or that they are entitled to claim...
Or worse. The cardholder is liable for the first x amount of losses on his card. I can see the real winners in this being the legal profession, twas ever thus.
Cutting down trees, chopping them to bits and shipping them around the world. Edit to add then burn it. Renewable and green allegedly please log in to view this image
