A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem, and the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself." That same day the man went to a shop and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion, he hurried home to his wife. At home, he found his wife in bed, naked and waiting. As the two began, they found themselves in the 69 position. The man, moments later, felt the sudden urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol. The next day, the man went back to the doctor, who asked "How did it go?" The man answered, "Not that well... when I fired the pistol, my wife shat on my face, bit 3 inches off my penis and my neighbour came out of the wardrobe with his hands in the air!"
So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we’re having a baby. For instance my name, address and telephone number!
A man in the South Side of Glasgow goes to his local station. "Single to Karachi please" "Sorry pal, we can't give you a ticket all the way there. Try asking again at Glasgow Central" So he does. "Sorry pal, here's a ticket to London, try again there". TIcket office at Victoria says "Sorry sir, we can give you a ticket to Brussels if that helps?" And so it goes on through Munich, Belgrade, Istanbul, Ankara, Teheran, where finally he can buy a ticket to Karachi. A couple of weeks later it's time for him to return home. He goes to the main Karachi railway station. "Single to Pollokshields please". "Is that Pollokshields East or Pollokshields West?"
Grandpa found Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet and asked if he could try one. The son said, "I don't know, they're very strong and expensive." "How much?" he asked. “£10 a pill,” the son said. "I don't care. I'll try one, and leave the money under your pillow.” The next morning the son found £110.00 under his pillow. He tells Grandpa, "I said each pill was £10.00, not £110.00." "I know, Grandpa replies, "the £100 is from Grandma.!!!
