Old Pro’s Stories

[Chazz Rheinhold]

Not that kind of pro!!
After reading the RIP thread and spes’ post thought it would be good to hear any old stories you’ve been told by ex players, of city, but any you’ve met or worked with and spent time with. Funny or sad.

 

[johnbo]

A few daft ones I remember when I was at Scunthorpe Dave hall who I shared digs with along with two others undid the springs to my chair and bed on my first day there, I went straight through the seat and same when I went to bed, he was a right prat but constant laugh, this new lad one day moved in, he fell asleep, Halley moved his feet next to the fire, he woke up, us all watching a cowboy film, his first words where doesn’t the smoke on the film looked real, it was his shoes on fire. Dave Stewart (former city) when we used to buy new boots ect always went in the shop and asked which was the cheapest boots they had but got a reciet for the most expensive ones because he knew the owner. He would go back to the club and Ron ashman would have a fit at the price but Sammy would just laugh and say they are made of kangaroo skin that’s why I bounce down the wing. Six weeks later he was needing new boots because they were crap. Geoff barker and stu blampey was always a right laugh, always last in the shower was blamps, Geoff would always go back in to turn them off calling him an idiot. One night Geoff was all dressed up suit and tie ect, had to go back in through all the showers, slipped layed completely flat out with al the showers running water all over him. One game I was alongside Geoff The team we were playing had a corner I turned shouted at Geoff to get hold of their big man, he was on the floor looking in the thick mud, I remember shouting what are you doing, he said I’ve lost my false tooth, the ball came in they shot it hit Geoff who was on his knees on the head and went over the bar, everybody except me was round him patting him on the back saying what a fantastic save and I knew he was looking for a false tooth and didn’t have a clue. On our way home I got off the coach ran into a fish shop ordered 21 fish n chips sprinting back to the coach a bloke opened his car door I hit it and fish n chips everywhere. Just some fond but daft memories

 

[Chazz Rheinhold]

I remember Gerry Ingram telling me when he was on tour with the USA select 11. They were in Japan and were introduced to the Emoeror of Japan one aft the other the full squad
Told to state their name and where they’re from

Eusebio Portugal
Etc etc
Gerry Ingram North Hull.

 

[Trumpton Tiger.]

Geoff Barker told me that when he made his debut for City ( I think it was his debut) away at Cardiff Terry Neill told him to wear the number 9 shirt and kick off the game up front as though he was the real centre forward. Neill thought it would confuse Cardiff. Geoff was then told to stick with Cardiff's number 9. John Toshack. 'Dont let him out of your sight'
Toshack went onto score at least a hat trick and City lost 6-0.

 

[Chazz Rheinhold]

Geoff Barker told me that when he made his debut for City ( I think it was his debut) away at Cardiff Terry Neill told him to wear the number 9 shirt and kick off the game up front as though he was the real centre forward. Neill thought it would confuse Cardiff. Geoff was then told to stick with Cardiff's number 9. John Toshack. 'Dont let him out of your sight'
Toshack went onto score at least a hat trick and City lost 6-0.

Tommy Doc told a joke when he was 19, the manager said you’re marking, so and so can’t remember who it was, don’t leave his side the whole game!
They came in at half time and the bloke had scored three. the manager said I told you not leave his side!!
Doc: I couldn’t get near him boss there were always players round him shaking his hand and clapping him on the back

 

[Trumpton Tiger.]

Tommy Doc told a joke when he was 19, the manager said you’re marking, so and so can’t remember who it was, don’t leave his side the whole game!
They came in at half time and the bloke had scored three. the manager said I told you not leave his side!!
Doc: I couldn’t get near him boss there were always players round him shaking his hand and clapping him on the back

A bit like Liam Coopers debut at Liverpool then ?

 

[Chazz Rheinhold]

I know exaggeration plays a big part in all these old stories but...

I met a bloke on holiday years ago, nice fella, and he said he played for West Ham reserves, never made it to the first team so I tended to believe him. Big fella was a centre half
Saw the team sheet for the team he was playing and thought this is my big chance playing against a big star returning from injury I’ll do him. the manager said the same. Let him know you’re there first five minutes all the old cliches.

First twenty minutes nothing
The player barely touched the ball didn’t contest a header nothing couldn’t hit him.
Bang
1 nil down

nothing for fifteen minutes
Bang
2 nil
Half time
Get ****jng tighter to him
Yea boss ye
Second half
Barely touched the ball
Not a bit of mud on his shirt
3 nil
Ten minutes later
4 nil
He said he was quickest thing he’s seen couldnt touch him or foul him
wasn’t a bad player that Jimmy greaves son!!

I don’t care if it isn’t true when you’re sat in a bar in Spain listening to it it’s brilliant

 

[Trumpton Tiger.]

I know exaggeration plays a big part in all these old stories but...

I met a bloke on holiday years ago, nice fella, and he said he played for West Ham reserves, never made it to the first team so I tended to believe him. Big fella was a centre half
Saw the team sheet for the team he was playing and thought this is my big chance playing against a big star returning from injury I’ll do him. the manager said the same. Let him know you’re there first five minutes all the old cliches.

First twenty minutes nothing
The player barely touched the ball didn’t contest a header nothing couldn’t hit him.
Bang
1 nil down

nothing for fifteen minutes
Bang
2 nil
Half time
Get ****jng tighter to him
Yea boss ye
Second half
Barely touched the ball
Not a bit of mud on his shirt
3 nil
Ten minutes later
4 nil
He said he was quickest thing he’s seen couldnt touch him or foul him
wasn’t a bad player that Jimmy greaves son!!

I don’t care if it isn’t true when you’re sat in a bar in Spain listening to it it’s brilliant

I had a similar incident in a hotel bar in Tenerife a few years back. My hair was a lot darker in those days and I had gone downstairs to the hotel bar for a pint whilst the missus was getting ready upstairs. A fella saddled up alongside me at the bar and was very chatty and was speaking as though he knew me and kept calling me John. He then invited me to come and sit with his family, bit odd I thought but why not being on holiday and everything. Then they asked if they could have there photographs taken with me ! They thought I was John Parrot, and even though I told them I wasn't they wouldn't have it, so I went along with it. A bit later that night me and the missus were sat outside some where having a meal and the waiter brought us a bottle of wine across with the complements on another couple sat a few tables away giving us the thumbs up sign !
This caught on throughout the week and no-one cottoned that I wasn't the real John Parrot, even though I denied it every time, they just wanted to believe that I was him, I even signed a couple of autographs.
On the same holiday I bumped into Chris Simpkin and his family walking past a bar, so I jumped up ( I'd had a few) and shook hands as though he was along lost mate I hadn't seen for years, and he and his family actually sat down with us ! It was a good 15 minutes or so before he realised we didn't know each other at all and I was just a bloke who watched him from the terraces some 30 or more years earlier.
Tenerife's like that.

 

[originallambrettaman]

Many years ago, a young Scottish lad came up to me at a table outside a restaurant in Tenerife and asked for my autograph, I said who do you think I am, he said Ally McCoist.

I assured him I wasn't Ally McCoist, in fact, I wasn't even Scottish.

He very politely said sorry for bothering me and wandered off.

Five minutes later, his pissed-up dad came stomping over, shouting 'McCoist you arrogant ****, why you no sign the lads autograph'.

 

[bradymk2]

Many years ago, a young Scottish lad came up to me at a table outside a restaurant in Tenerife and asked for my autograph, I said who do you think I am, he said Ally McCoist.

I assured him I wasn't Ally McCoist, in fact, I wasn't even Scottish.

He very politely said sorry for bothering me and wandered off.

Five minutes later, his pissed-up dad came stomping over, shouting 'McCoist you arrogant ****, why you no sign the lads autograph'.

 

[Trumpton Tiger.]

Many years ago, a young Scottish lad came up to me at a table outside a restaurant in Tenerife and asked for my autograph, I said who do you think I am, he said Ally McCoist.

I assured him I wasn't Ally McCoist, in fact, I wasn't even Scottish.

He very politely said sorry for bothering me and wandered off.

Five minutes later, his pissed-up dad came stomping over, shouting 'McCoist you arrogant ****, why you no sign the lads autograph'.

I don't speak with a scouse accent either but that didn't seem to matter because they wanted to believe they had met someone famous.