Who is thickest EPL player

In terms of the football brain as opposed to basic life style intelligence who would you consider the EPL dummy

Walcott has to be close if not a (fast) run-away winner

 

Not sure Gomes would rank too highly either

 

Bramble seems stupid on and off the pitch

 

the one's that keep saying "you know" after every couple of words

 

Any Spurs striker last season, take yer pick!

 

I know he's not in the EPL, but Xavi accidentally referred to Man Utd as Leeds United after last season's Champions League Final.

 

I can't really blame him for thinking it was.

 

Steve Harper once described Steven Taylor as, and i quote "the thickest man he has ever met..."

But for me it would be someone like Bramble. if you're being nicked on a consistent basis for sexual assault and getting away with it you really ought to quit while you're ahead. Nile Ranger (newcastle reserve striker ) is also a slavering spastic as well as a total ****er.

 

Kicking people!

I happen to think the spread between thick players and clever players matches the general UK population. The **** tend to float to the surface, which is why they are easily spotted.

All players who said "I joined Liverpool to win trophies" should be added to the list.

 

I remember on Soccer AM when Lennon was doing the team mates section and was asked who the close clever member of the spurs squad was he replied;
"Gomes probably as he wears glasses!!!"
Therefore I'm throwing his name into the hat too

 

I must confess that I am not impressed by Barton as a person, and assumed that was connected to lack of intellect. However I should say that having heard him on 5 Live over the weekend, I must reassess my opinion. I still don't like him as a person but he's clearly not thick, he made a lot of sense in fact and was rather more honest in his replies than most of the non-replies you get from other premiership footballers.

Obviously biased but it seems to me that Spurs players are clearly more intelligent than average. Tony Galvin had a Russian degree didn't he and wasn't Ossie a qualified lawyer? Friedel did well on MOTD2 as well a few weeks back.

 

That'd explain a few of Gomes' clangers.

Essien's pretty stupid, I met him about a year ago and was telling him my flatmate is from Ghana and he didn't understand a word except "Accra" and his mate had to translate everything I said.

Not sure whether it's thick or just lazy to not be able to speak English after 5/6 years in the country.

 

Wilshere's just a bog standard, Jeremy Kyle appearing chav, as far as I can tell.
He's probably on the list of Premier League footballers that would be in jail if they didn't have a talent for kicking a ball.

Tevez?
Lived in England for five years and three clubs, yet still can't speak the language.

I'm sure that there are a few smart footballers out there, though.
Shaka Hislop has a degree in mechanical engineering from Howard University in the USA, graduating with honours and acting as an intern at NASA.

 

That was Mascherano and he actually said 'this United', I'm sorry to say.

 

Robbie Fowler was affectionatly known as "Thicko" in the Liverpool dressing room...

 

His investments weren't stupid though, Croydon.
He owns a ton of property.

 

Tevez not learning English after so long here is terrible. That is probably the main reason he doesn't like our country.

 

Defoe...F--king thick f--k.

 

His Spanish is quite bad as well, so don't take it personally.

Kolo Toure cartainly qualifies - either because he really is so stupid he took his wife's dieting pills, or he's stupid enough to believe anyone would swallow that story...

 

Followed by Lennon...another f--king thick f--ker!!