A dog truly is a man's best friend. Here's an experiment. Try it, it works. Lock your dog and your wife in the boot of your car. After an hour, open the boot and let them out and see which one is really glad to see you.
Wife: Have you seen the dogs bowl? Hubby: No, I didn't even know they played cricket. He: I wanted you to have this bracelet, it belonged to my late granny, She: How lovely, but what does he inscription "Do not resuscitate" mean?
A priest and a pilot were waiting in line at the Pearly Gates for St Peter. St Peter had a brief chat with the pilot then gave him a gold halo and he entered heaven. Then St Peter moved onto the priest and gave him a wooden halo. "Why does he get a get a gold halo whilst I only get a wooden one?" asked the priest. "It's easy." St Peter replied "We reward by results. When you preached everyone fell asleep whereas when he flew everyone prayed."