Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different

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DMD said:
A word to the wise, and I'm not for one moment casting aspersions, but if you're buying on-line, kayaks are weight specific, as I found out when I was asked to trial one, that immediately became a submarine when I sat in it. :emoticon-0178-rock:

The red indian type things have risks too, as I found out playing last of the mohecans with the kids. I thought I'd have a play solo while they had a picnic...it's obvious now when I look back, but I just jumped into the back seat I'd been sitting in when it was fully loaded, and 'wheelied' across the river. :emoticon-0102-bigsm
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The PC brigade will be after you.
 
Tom Lehrer was 92 on Thursday
A classic
Spring is here, spring is here
Life is skittles and life is beer
I think the loveliest time of the year
Is the spring, I do, don't you? Course you do
But there's one thing that makes spring complete for me
And makes every Sunday a treat for me
All the world seems in tune on a spring afternoon
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park
Every Sunday you'll see my sweetheart and me
As we poison the pigeons in the park
When they see us coming
The birdies all try and hide
But they still go for peanuts
When coated with cyanide
The sun's shining bright
Everything seems all right
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park
We've gained notoriety
And caused much anxiety
In the Audobon Society
With our games
They call it impiety
And lack of propriety
And quite a variety of unpleasant names
But it's not against any religion
To want to dispose of a pigeon
So if Sunday you're free
Why don't you come with me
And we'll poison the pigeons in the park
And maybe we'll do in a squirrel or two
While we're poisoning pigeons in the park
We'll murder them amid laughter and merriment
Except for the few we take home to experiment
My pulse will be quickenin'
With each drop of strychnine
We feed to a pigeon
It just takes a smidgin
To poison a pigeon in the park
 
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BREAKING NEWS:

The King of Spain has been quarantined.

This means the reign in Spain stays mainly on the plane.
 
Well, That's me in Hospital
This has not been a good morning. After spending the last three weeks quarantined inside the house, I decided to go horseback riding, something I haven't done in many years. It turned out to be a horrible big mistake!
I got on the horse and started out slowly, but then we went a little faster; before I knew it, we were going as fast as the horse could go. I couldn't take the pace and fell off and caught my foot in the saddle stirrup, The horse just would not stop.
Thankfully the manager at Tesco's came out and unplugged the machine. He actually had the nerve to take the rest of my coins off me so I wouldn't try to ride the Elephant........
 
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SW3 Chelsea Tiger said:
Well, That's me in Hospital
This has not been a good morning. After spending the last three weeks quarantined inside the house, I decided to go horseback riding, something I haven't done in many years. It turned out to be a horrible big mistake!
I got on the horse and started out slowly, but then we went a little faster; before I knew it, we were going as fast as the horse could go. I couldn't take the pace and fell off and caught my foot in the saddle stirrup, The horse just would not stop.
Thankfully the manager at Tesco's came out and unplugged the machine. He actually had the nerve to take the rest of my coins off me so I wouldn't try to ride the Elephant........
Click to expand...

<laugh> I was swallowing that until the last bit <ok>
 
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