England v Belgium thread

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remembercolinlee

remembercolinlee

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Jan 1, 2012
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As a 15 yr old school kid I went to Belgium for 4 days...it was pretty boring and flat...a bit like Norfolk but without the brother and sister love ins. <whistle>

Belgium is known for Chocolate, being invaded, being beyond tedious, sprouts, drowning French fries in mayonnaise, strong beer, waffles and producing footballers who like to kid 19 yr old Welsh ball boys :bandit:

Belgium also has 3 official languages (French, German and Dutch) yet all of their footballers speak clearer English than all of the England team.

After England's wins over the giants of Tunisia and Panama they are now the favourites to win the tournament as it is now clear that the spine of the team (Danny Mars Bar Rose, Jordan One Touch Henderson and Raheem Goal Magnet Stirling) can carry the rest of the dross in the team.
It was reported that, after watching Stirlings opening 2 games, the Belgium squad were shaking in their boots...any suggestion that they were laughing is simply bravado.

Harry one season wonder Kane has alreadyassured himself of the award for goal of the tournament with his audacious back heel to complete his hat trick against Tunisia.

Belgium will play their usual game of powerful, skillful effective attacking football until It gets to Hazard who will then go through his full Tom Daly repertoire in the hope to impress Real Madrids new manager.

England will continue to employ their tried and tested best tactic...mindless optimism and hoping to **** that they avoid, Brazil, Belgium, Spain, Germany, Portugal, Argentina, Croatia, Uruguay, France, Russia, Denmark, Switerland, Mexico, Japan orSenegal in the last 16 :bandit:

Finally, hats off to not 606 mods for the Fellani emoji :afro:

But the Jack Whilshere one is a little harsh :emoticon-0176-smoke

Oh and the match is on Friday at midday<whistle>
 
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My Belgium Experience

Many many years ago, I got pissed plus a bit more* on arriving in Amsterdam one night and finding myself alone, I decided to sleep in an unlit train at Centraal Station. Woke up the next morning in fekking Belgium with no passport, tabacco or money and someone had even managed to nick my brand new doc martins. First stop was fekking Antwerp where I got back on the first train to Amsterdam, however, this was before open borders. Border guards on the train arrested me and locked me up in Den Haag. After getting checked out via Interpol, finger prints etc., they kicked me out of the Nick and told me not to get back on the train until I had money for a ticket.

I legged it down the British Embassy, but they were as much use as a chocolate teapot. I said I need some money because I'd been robbed, they said 'we are not a bank sir'. They offered me a ticket home, I said fek off, I've only just got here, I'm here to party, not to fek off home. I pointed out that I needed some shoes, could they help me there? 'This is not a cobblers either sir'. I was getting frustrated by now. 'I don't suppose anyone smokes?' that question was answered with a shake of the head. I said thank you but no thank you (or words to that effect) and promptly left.

Hitched back to the Dam and found a half smoked cigarette in the gutter. I asked some Cloggie for a light, who felt sorry for me and gave me a whole packet of cigarettes plus a lighter, things were looking up.

I'd traveled over there with some mates on a stag weekend but we managed to get split up following 'a session and a half'. Nevertheless, lighted cigarette in hand I strolled into the red light district to look for them and low and behold immediately ran into my mates who were all looking at a sex shop window. 'Where the fek have you been? Where's your shoes?' were the questions aimed at me. Fekking Antwerp I said. Where's that? Fekking Belgium I replied. Needless to say we went straight to 'the Bulldog' to 'straighten up' then off to a shoe shop after a whip-round. I bunked the ferry to get back with a bit of help from Uncle Charlie, but got arrested at Harwich, fortunately without any Uncle, I'd finished it. I was released a couple of hours later after questioning/strip search and a stern warning.

*5th Amendment
 
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Arsene Wenger says that a right back playing at centre back is England's weak link.

In other words it's official: Arsene Wenger has as much tactical aptitude as literally every single one of us on this forum, given we all spotted Walker wasn't suited to play at centre back since at least March...
 
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humanbeingincroydon said:
Arsene Wenger says that a right back playing at centre back is England's weak link.

In other words it's official: Arsene Wenger has as much tactical aptitude as literally every single one of us on this forum, given we all spotted Walker wasn't suited to play at centre back since at least March...
Click to expand...
But still a better CB than anyone that Wenger put out for the Goons in the last few years!! <laugh>
 
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remembercolinlee said:
Belgium is known for Chocolate, being invaded, being beyond tedious, sprouts, drowning French fries in mayonnaise, strong beer, waffles and producing footballers who like to kid 19 yr old Welsh ball boys :bandit:
Click to expand...
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And just in case anyone's silly enough to read this thread and miss the match, it's on at 7pm Thursday evening.
 
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remembercolinlee said:
As a 15 yr old school kid I went to Belgium for 4 days...it was pretty boring and flat...a bit like Norfolk but without the brother and sister love ins. <whistle>

Belgium is known for Chocolate, being invaded, being beyond tedious, sprouts, drowning French fries in mayonnaise, strong beer, waffles and producing footballers who like to kid 19 yr old Welsh ball boys ...
Click to expand...

Also : hard-arsed cyclists like Eddy Merckx, the "New Beat" sound.
 
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****ing plagiarist. You've nicked this opening post (word for word) from the witty guy on the Premier League. Can't you come up with something of your own?
 
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