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Off Topic The Goodhand Arms

Discussion in 'Southampton' started by TheSecondStain, Jul 15, 2014.

  1. Libby

    Libby Derby County, we're coming for you

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    I thought that <laugh>
     
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  2. PompeyLapras

    PompeyLapras Well-Known Member

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    Thank you everyone for all your kind comments.

    Well you never know, that could still happen. Though as we're not so much of a basketcase nowadays, it's unlikely.

    Well, once you're refered to a clinic, you get an initial appointment then they do some mental assessments to make sure I'm not (completely) crazy. Then after a while you'll start hormone therapy and some time after that, surgery. So I'm just waiting for my first appointment, however I only got referred on Friday so I'll be waiting a while.

    How do I feel? A mixture of things. Exhilaration, terror but I'm happy that the ball is rolling, no matter how slowly. But this nagging feeling of not being physically the gender which I feel is there at the back of my mind pretty much constantly. Whenever I think about myself, the way I see myself in my mind's eye is contrary to the actual physical reality.... In fact, I found a picture which I use for my Steam profile pic which pretty much perfectly encapsulates the way I visualise myself.

    please log in to view this image


    I even have headphones like that!

    Coincidentally, though Samantha is my steam identity and a big part of how I perceive myself, I'm not actually intending to change my name to that.
     
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  3. Libby

    Libby Derby County, we're coming for you

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    You still seeing your girlfriend Pomps and if so, is she supportive?
     
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  4. PompeyLapras

    PompeyLapras Well-Known Member

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    Yes I am, and yes she is. It helps she's bisexual. If she wasn't, I'd probably just repress my feelings. I'm good at that.
     
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  5. Libby

    Libby Derby County, we're coming for you

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    Fair enough fella, good that she's supportive <ok>
     
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  6. Clem Fandango

    Clem Fandango Well-Known Member

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    Isn't it strange how disabled people never complain they were "born in the wrong body"?
     
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  7. PompeyLapras

    PompeyLapras Well-Known Member

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    Technically, I'm disabled too. And yes, I have ragged on my body for that in the past. Unfortunately, unless medical knowledge increases dramatically, there's not much I can do on that regard.
     
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  8. Saints_Alive

    Saints_Alive Well-Known Member

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    All the best Lapras, if this can help you resolve your true identity then it can only be a huge positive and you shouldn't fear anything, it sounds that your GF is a wonderfully supportive person and you won't be alone during this...:)
     
    #34428
    Le Tissier’s Laces likes this.
  9. Saint Helen

    Saint Helen Well-Known Member

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    So, I may be feeling more sensitive today (no idea why!) but the reaction to PL's messages about his gender identity from a group of people (OK, I'll say men) who most would expect to be macho, Neanderthal types, has brought tears to my eyes. Kudos to PL for the bravery in telling us but special hugs to everyone who's responded so empathetically. Even if we maybe don't understand what PL's going through, the fact that questions are being asked rather than condemnation being voiced has truly touched me. Thank you, gents <hug>

    Mind you, having met some of you, I really shouldn't be surprised...
     
    #34429
  10. Clem Fandango

    Clem Fandango Well-Known Member

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    Personally I think it's a psychiatrist you need not gender reasignment. You'll never really be a woman no matter what they chop off. Can't you just be a tranny or a shemale? Why mutilate yourself beyond repair? What if you feel different a few years down the line? Aren't you worried about people looking at you wondering exactly what you are?

    I have absolutely nothing against anybody in this whole world at all... but I think it's a sickness in society that gender reassignment has been normalised. It's almost saying "you're girly so you must become a girl". It puts so much importance on gender when what we should be saying is "there's nothing wrong with being a tranny/ sissy/ ***/ queer/ whatever".
     
    #34430

  11. ChilcoSaint

    ChilcoSaint What a disgrace
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    I couldn't agree more. While reading PL's wonderful, honest, messages I found myself thinking back to the old 606 board and the early years of not606. Some people back then, and it's only a very few years ago remember, thought nothing of calling other posters out for saying things that sounded a bit "gay", and openly sexist comments were common. Nowadays the forum, or this board at least, is somewhere that PL can open his heart about a deeply personal issue. I would also like to join Helen in thanking the rest of you.
    And this is a perfectly acceptable way of reacting to PL's situation. You are also being honest, but not abusive, about your own feelings of this matter, so thank you too Clem. I don't agree with you, but I would fight to the death for your right to express those views the way you have. On the main point, I imagine the points you raise would be covered in great detail in the counselling sessions PL will have, long before any decisions are taken about the way forward for him.
     
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  12. Beef

    Beef Well-Known Member

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    Yep they don't just hand out gender reassignment. Also trans is not a mental health issue.

    Also post op trans women are women.
     
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  13. Beef

    Beef Well-Known Member

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  14. ChilcoSaint

    ChilcoSaint What a disgrace
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    #34434
    TheSecondStain likes this.
  15. Beef

    Beef Well-Known Member

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    If you are black just have a wash....
     
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  16. Saint Helen

    Saint Helen Well-Known Member

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  17. PompeyLapras

    PompeyLapras Well-Known Member

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    #34437
  18. thereisonlyoneno7

    thereisonlyoneno7 Well-Known Member

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    #34438
  19. PompeyLapras

    PompeyLapras Well-Known Member

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    Okay... as with Chilco I respect your right to your opinions and I understand your concerns even if I am a bit concerned with your choice of language (tranny and shemale, both of which have derogatory conations even if you're not meant to be derogatory) but let me try to address them. Firstly, this isn't something I've just thought about recently, it's been going through my head for years and years. It's only in the last year I've actually decided to do anything about it. Secondly, before having surgery you are required to live an entire year as your re-assigned gender to make certain you want surgery. Tbh, surgery is way down the line and isn't necessarily something I'm rushing into. Thirdly, hormone therapy, which is the first stage is reversible. Just stop the treatment and (in this case) give testosterone.

    I must admit, I have had concerns about whether I would pass. Even when I was young (like pre-GCSE) I remember thinking to myself I would get a sex change if I could and but I probably wouldn't because it wouldn't be passable. However, having said that I've seen plenty of people who have transitioned and no one would think they weren't born female or male (as transgender men exist, there was one on Naked Attraction whom you would have sworn was a man except for his, er, downstairs region).

    Anyway, it's nothing to do with being girly or manly, I'm not hugely girly nor am I hugely manly either. And to go back to your point about being a transvestite... I don't think I'd ever feel truly comfortable if I was just in female clothing without even hormone therapy, I'd be too worried about people being able to tell (damn facial hair) or just thinking me as a weirdo in a dress. And as Beef says, post-op i'd be a woman. Yes, I would be different from those who were born female to some extent, but I would for all intents and purposes be a woman.
     
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  20. Saints_Alive

    Saints_Alive Well-Known Member

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    Pompey are winning away from home Lapras...:emoticon-0148-yes:
     
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