Transfer Rumours transfer thread fact and fiction

Ross Barkley has suffered a hamstring injury............. Everton are going to be paying Levy to take him away soon. .

I'd love to see Kenwright/Moshiri/Koeman say "£50m and he's yours" now..

 

I was thinking the same thing. Way over my head.

 

Only for Daniel to come back with an offer of £5m.

 

There's one or two tweets out there saying we have a 15% sell of Fee with Paulinho.

 

I can picture future maths GCSE questions:

If Leandro Damiao leaves his house at 3.00pm and travels at an average speed of 43mph, and Joao Moutinho leaves his house at 2.30pm and travels at an average speed of 52mph; both players are making their way to Daniel Levy's office which is 10 miles away from their current locations...

In what decade will they sign for Spurs? (You may round your answer to the nearest century.)

[This question is worth an average of 9 points per season]

 

This is a form of online bullying, Roo. Stop it.

 

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/spor...rtons-ross-barkley-suffers-hamstring-13476651

Injured or "injured"?

 

There's been a few reports now. Journalists at the guardian and independent are running with the story, so it seems like it may have some legs.

Btw, the same "delegate" was also given the task of locating Levy who'd gone AWOL in the dam over the weekend. He was apparently found passed out in a brothel mid-blowey, with skinny bifta in hand from the last scraps of a 10bag he'd managed to make last the whole weekend.

 

Zamora yes he had slipped from my memory.

RCL stop it.

 

I wouldn't believe a word that bloke said, even if he was on fire and said he felt hot.

 

< kerching >

 

If Levy negotiates at the speed of light, then what takes
him minutes to do will appear to outside observers like us
to take the whole summer up to 1 min before the window closes.

 

Interesting use of wording there.

A few months ago it was "representatives" of Man Utd that just so happened to bump into Dries Mertens in the lobby of a Naples hotel to discuss a move without going to the bother of asking Napoli if they would be open to selling the player, yet it's a "delegation" that Spurs send out.

One sounds respectable (even though what they were doing was tapping-up...), the other sounds like David Davies managing to negotiate the UK's exit from the northern hemisphere within ten minutes of sitting down at the table.

 

E=Sissoko wasn't really a last minute panic buy?

 

I understood as much of that as you did of RD's post about relative time dilation.

 

Sissoko is an elegant demonstration of Einstein's most famous equation. He has lots of energy (E), which can be said to equal his considerable mass (M) and pace (C2). So:

Sissoko = (E=MC2).

The trouble is Einstein forgot to conduct any field research where M = a football and E = kicking it. It would seem that the theory totally collapses when this variable is introduced to the E and C2 of a Sissoko.

 

E(ffort) = m(otivation) * c(lub gratitude) ^ 2.

For Sissoko, m and c always tend to zero.

 

Einstein didn't foresee Sissoko with his cosmological constant. Sissoko is the Dark (doesn't) Matter.