Off Topic Bill Nicholson Arms

[littleDinosaurLuke]

Just had one of the most awful fortnights in my life........... Wish me luck..

All the best

 

[O.Spurcat]

Fabio Fognini, you're an arse, the way you're bahaving.

 

[Rocky blue army]

Just had one of the most awful fortnights in my life, two weeks ago feels like yesterday, the last fourteen days seem to have merged into one. Friday night, the 23rd June, I was in the bar on the gold mine in the Congo when I received a phone call telling me my wife, who was on holiday with my daughter in Eritrea, her home country, was in intensive care and may not last the night. I spent the Saturday re arranging my ticket, left the mine on the Sunday, got attacked on the road, although it was only rocks thrown through the car windscreen but scary all the same, flew from Kamembe (Congo/Rwanda border) to Kigali, Kigali to Amsterdam, Amsterdam to London, London to Dubai then Dubai to Asmara (the capital of Eritrea). Yes I could have flown direct Kigali to Dubai but at short notice the cost was prohibitive.

I arrived at about 07:00 on Wednesday 28th June to be told she had been stabilised and was out of danger but needed an operation which, if carried out in Eritrea, would put her life at risk as keyhole surgery was not available and they would have to open her whole chest up. After many questions it turned out that she had eaten some meat with a bone in it. It got stuck in her oesophagus and she coughed up some but no all. After 4 days there was internal swelling which restricted her breathing. She went to the hospital, they gave her a general and used an endoscope to push the remnant food into her stomach. Unfortunately, this action resulted in an 8 inch tear in the wall of the oesophagus so as soon as she drank anything her pleural cavity filled up and collapsed her lungs.

When I first saw her they had cut holes on either side of her chest and inserted tubes to drain the cavities and had her breathing pure oxygen. Fortunately I have travel insurance with my bank account which covers my whole family. They agreed to send an air ambulance and take her to Nairobi for treatment, We (myself and Eritreans who were helping me) had to go to the Airport waving a letter from the local doctor to get clearance for the aircraft to land. She was taken to Nairobi at about 05:00 last Saturday morning.

They asked me if I wanted to travel on the plane myself along with my daughter, and for some mad inexplicable reason I declined (note to self: you are a fcukwit). I already had a ticket to London for Tuesday 4th so I bought a ticket for my daughter and headed for the airport at 03:30 in the morning. I should have anticipated issues as the previous day we were already getting grief from the immigration department because my wife had left without an exit visa. We explained that as she was somewhere between a coma and heavily sedated and it would have been nigh on impossible for her to obtain one. They were mighty pissed off but appeared to accept our explanation. Back to the airport, as my daughter and I tried to leave we were stopped because my daughter didn't have a exit visa either. My wife had got her an Eritrean ID card and she entered using that rather than her UK passport. Many years ago I used to attend many parties at the British Embassy in Asmara and the Ambassador had warned me off the issues relating to dual nationality children, sometimes you could never get them out, so I was beginning to panic.

I came close to losing it with a jobsworth immigration officer, but the sensible bit of my brain won the day, just, so I accepted we weren't going to leave and left the airport. With the help of very good Eritrean friends we obtained an Exit Visa for my daughter later that morning in record time, 1.5 hours (tell an Eritrean it is possible to obtain an Exit Visa in 1.5 hours and they will call you a screwball). Then it was a matter of buying new tickets, easier said than done in Asmara, it took until 20:00 Tuesday evening to get a pair for us, we had every travel agent in Asmara working on it, but 03:30 the Wednesday morning we were back at the Airport. This time we passed immigration controls with relative ease and boarded the plane. However, just before take-off immigration officers boarded the plane and made a b-line for me. Anyone ever had one of those heart-sinking moments? Fortunately they only wanted a phone number off me, they were trying to get a copy of my wife's passport to issue a retrospective exit visa to cover their own backsides I guess but until they spoke I didn't know that. I was sh!tting myself.

We arrived back home in the early hours of Thursday morning, couldn't sleep comfortably, nightmares all night relating to the last fortnights experiences. Last night took four cans of beer and half a litre of whisky to sleep. I'm going to go cold turkey tonight. Wish me luck.

Best wishes mate hope everything turns out alright

 

[Spurf]

Just had one of the most awful fortnights in my life, two weeks ago feels like yesterday, the last fourteen days seem to have merged into one. Friday night, the 23rd June, I was in the bar on the gold mine in the Congo when I received a phone call telling me my wife, who was on holiday with my daughter in Eritrea, her home country, was in intensive care and may not last the night. I spent the Saturday re arranging my ticket, left the mine on the Sunday, got attacked on the road, although it was only rocks thrown through the car windscreen but scary all the same, flew from Kamembe (Congo/Rwanda border) to Kigali, Kigali to Amsterdam, Amsterdam to London, London to Dubai then Dubai to Asmara (the capital of Eritrea). Yes I could have flown direct Kigali to Dubai but at short notice the cost was prohibitive.

I arrived at about 07:00 on Wednesday 28th June to be told she had been stabilised and was out of danger but needed an operation which, if carried out in Eritrea, would put her life at risk as keyhole surgery was not available and they would have to open her whole chest up. After many questions it turned out that she had eaten some meat with a bone in it. It got stuck in her oesophagus and she coughed up some but no all. After 4 days there was internal swelling which restricted her breathing. She went to the hospital, they gave her a general and used an endoscope to push the remnant food into her stomach. Unfortunately, this action resulted in an 8 inch tear in the wall of the oesophagus so as soon as she drank anything her pleural cavity filled up and collapsed her lungs.

When I first saw her they had cut holes on either side of her chest and inserted tubes to drain the cavities and had her breathing pure oxygen. Fortunately I have travel insurance with my bank account which covers my whole family. They agreed to send an air ambulance and take her to Nairobi for treatment, We (myself and Eritreans who were helping me) had to go to the Airport waving a letter from the local doctor to get clearance for the aircraft to land. She was taken to Nairobi at about 05:00 last Saturday morning.

They asked me if I wanted to travel on the plane myself along with my daughter, and for some mad inexplicable reason I declined (note to self: you are a fcukwit). I already had a ticket to London for Tuesday 4th so I bought a ticket for my daughter and headed for the airport at 03:30 in the morning. I should have anticipated issues as the previous day we were already getting grief from the immigration department because my wife had left without an exit visa. We explained that as she was somewhere between a coma and heavily sedated and it would have been nigh on impossible for her to obtain one. They were mighty pissed off but appeared to accept our explanation. Back to the airport, as my daughter and I tried to leave we were stopped because my daughter didn't have a exit visa either. My wife had got her an Eritrean ID card and she entered using that rather than her UK passport. Many years ago I used to attend many parties at the British Embassy in Asmara and the Ambassador had warned me off the issues relating to dual nationality children, sometimes you could never get them out, so I was beginning to panic.

I came close to losing it with a jobsworth immigration officer, but the sensible bit of my brain won the day, just, so I accepted we weren't going to leave and left the airport. With the help of very good Eritrean friends we obtained an Exit Visa for my daughter later that morning in record time, 1.5 hours (tell an Eritrean it is possible to obtain an Exit Visa in 1.5 hours and they will call you a screwball). Then it was a matter of buying new tickets, easier said than done in Asmara, it took until 20:00 Tuesday evening to get a pair for us, we had every travel agent in Asmara working on it, but 03:30 the Wednesday morning we were back at the Airport. This time we passed immigration controls with relative ease and boarded the plane. However, just before take-off immigration officers boarded the plane and made a b-line for me. Anyone ever had one of those heart-sinking moments? Fortunately they only wanted a phone number off me, they were trying to get a copy of my wife's passport to issue a retrospective exit visa to cover their own backsides I guess but until they spoke I didn't know that. I was sh!tting myself.

We arrived back home in the early hours of Thursday morning, couldn't sleep comfortably, nightmares all night relating to the last fortnights experiences. Last night took four cans of beer and half a litre of whisky to sleep. I'm going to go cold turkey tonight. Wish me luck.

I wish you and you family well deedub, what a complete nightmare.

 

[paultheplug]

Just had one of the most awful fortnights in my life, two weeks ago feels like yesterday, the last fourteen days seem to have merged into one. Friday night, the 23rd June, I was in the bar on the gold mine in the Congo when I received a phone call telling me my wife, who was on holiday with my daughter in Eritrea, her home country, was in intensive care and may not last the night. I spent the Saturday re arranging my ticket, left the mine on the Sunday, got attacked on the road, although it was only rocks thrown through the car windscreen but scary all the same, flew from Kamembe (Congo/Rwanda border) to Kigali, Kigali to Amsterdam, Amsterdam to London, London to Dubai then Dubai to Asmara (the capital of Eritrea). Yes I could have flown direct Kigali to Dubai but at short notice the cost was prohibitive.

I arrived at about 07:00 on Wednesday 28th June to be told she had been stabilised and was out of danger but needed an operation which, if carried out in Eritrea, would put her life at risk as keyhole surgery was not available and they would have to open her whole chest up. After many questions it turned out that she had eaten some meat with a bone in it. It got stuck in her oesophagus and she coughed up some but no all. After 4 days there was internal swelling which restricted her breathing. She went to the hospital, they gave her a general and used an endoscope to push the remnant food into her stomach. Unfortunately, this action resulted in an 8 inch tear in the wall of the oesophagus so as soon as she drank anything her pleural cavity filled up and collapsed her lungs.

When I first saw her they had cut holes on either side of her chest and inserted tubes to drain the cavities and had her breathing pure oxygen. Fortunately I have travel insurance with my bank account which covers my whole family. They agreed to send an air ambulance and take her to Nairobi for treatment, We (myself and Eritreans who were helping me) had to go to the Airport waving a letter from the local doctor to get clearance for the aircraft to land. She was taken to Nairobi at about 05:00 last Saturday morning.

They asked me if I wanted to travel on the plane myself along with my daughter, and for some mad inexplicable reason I declined (note to self: you are a fcukwit). I already had a ticket to London for Tuesday 4th so I bought a ticket for my daughter and headed for the airport at 03:30 in the morning. I should have anticipated issues as the previous day we were already getting grief from the immigration department because my wife had left without an exit visa. We explained that as she was somewhere between a coma and heavily sedated and it would have been nigh on impossible for her to obtain one. They were mighty pissed off but appeared to accept our explanation. Back to the airport, as my daughter and I tried to leave we were stopped because my daughter didn't have a exit visa either. My wife had got her an Eritrean ID card and she entered using that rather than her UK passport. Many years ago I used to attend many parties at the British Embassy in Asmara and the Ambassador had warned me off the issues relating to dual nationality children, sometimes you could never get them out, so I was beginning to panic.

I came close to losing it with a jobsworth immigration officer, but the sensible bit of my brain won the day, just, so I accepted we weren't going to leave and left the airport. With the help of very good Eritrean friends we obtained an Exit Visa for my daughter later that morning in record time, 1.5 hours (tell an Eritrean it is possible to obtain an Exit Visa in 1.5 hours and they will call you a screwball). Then it was a matter of buying new tickets, easier said than done in Asmara, it took until 20:00 Tuesday evening to get a pair for us, we had every travel agent in Asmara working on it, but 03:30 the Wednesday morning we were back at the Airport. This time we passed immigration controls with relative ease and boarded the plane. However, just before take-off immigration officers boarded the plane and made a b-line for me. Anyone ever had one of those heart-sinking moments? Fortunately they only wanted a phone number off me, they were trying to get a copy of my wife's passport to issue a retrospective exit visa to cover their own backsides I guess but until they spoke I didn't know that. I was sh!tting myself.

We arrived back home in the early hours of Thursday morning, couldn't sleep comfortably, nightmares all night relating to the last fortnights experiences. Last night took four cans of beer and half a litre of whisky to sleep. I'm going to go cold turkey tonight. Wish me luck.

Hope all turns out well for you all. May your god, if you have one, be with you .

 

["Thanks for that Brian"]

Just had one of the most awful fortnights in my life, two weeks ago feels like yesterday, the last fourteen days seem to have merged into one. Friday night, the 23rd June, I was in the bar on the gold mine in the Congo when I received a phone call telling me my wife, who was on holiday with my daughter in Eritrea, her home country, was in intensive care and may not last the night. I spent the Saturday re arranging my ticket, left the mine on the Sunday, got attacked on the road, although it was only rocks thrown through the car windscreen but scary all the same, flew from Kamembe (Congo/Rwanda border) to Kigali, Kigali to Amsterdam, Amsterdam to London, London to Dubai then Dubai to Asmara (the capital of Eritrea). Yes I could have flown direct Kigali to Dubai but at short notice the cost was prohibitive.

I arrived at about 07:00 on Wednesday 28th June to be told she had been stabilised and was out of danger but needed an operation which, if carried out in Eritrea, would put her life at risk as keyhole surgery was not available and they would have to open her whole chest up. After many questions it turned out that she had eaten some meat with a bone in it. It got stuck in her oesophagus and she coughed up some but no all. After 4 days there was internal swelling which restricted her breathing. She went to the hospital, they gave her a general and used an endoscope to push the remnant food into her stomach. Unfortunately, this action resulted in an 8 inch tear in the wall of the oesophagus so as soon as she drank anything her pleural cavity filled up and collapsed her lungs.

When I first saw her they had cut holes on either side of her chest and inserted tubes to drain the cavities and had her breathing pure oxygen. Fortunately I have travel insurance with my bank account which covers my whole family. They agreed to send an air ambulance and take her to Nairobi for treatment, We (myself and Eritreans who were helping me) had to go to the Airport waving a letter from the local doctor to get clearance for the aircraft to land. She was taken to Nairobi at about 05:00 last Saturday morning.

They asked me if I wanted to travel on the plane myself along with my daughter, and for some mad inexplicable reason I declined (note to self: you are a fcukwit). I already had a ticket to London for Tuesday 4th so I bought a ticket for my daughter and headed for the airport at 03:30 in the morning. I should have anticipated issues as the previous day we were already getting grief from the immigration department because my wife had left without an exit visa. We explained that as she was somewhere between a coma and heavily sedated and it would have been nigh on impossible for her to obtain one. They were mighty pissed off but appeared to accept our explanation. Back to the airport, as my daughter and I tried to leave we were stopped because my daughter didn't have a exit visa either. My wife had got her an Eritrean ID card and she entered using that rather than her UK passport. Many years ago I used to attend many parties at the British Embassy in Asmara and the Ambassador had warned me off the issues relating to dual nationality children, sometimes you could never get them out, so I was beginning to panic.

I came close to losing it with a jobsworth immigration officer, but the sensible bit of my brain won the day, just, so I accepted we weren't going to leave and left the airport. With the help of very good Eritrean friends we obtained an Exit Visa for my daughter later that morning in record time, 1.5 hours (tell an Eritrean it is possible to obtain an Exit Visa in 1.5 hours and they will call you a screwball). Then it was a matter of buying new tickets, easier said than done in Asmara, it took until 20:00 Tuesday evening to get a pair for us, we had every travel agent in Asmara working on it, but 03:30 the Wednesday morning we were back at the Airport. This time we passed immigration controls with relative ease and boarded the plane. However, just before take-off immigration officers boarded the plane and made a b-line for me. Anyone ever had one of those heart-sinking moments? Fortunately they only wanted a phone number off me, they were trying to get a copy of my wife's passport to issue a retrospective exit visa to cover their own backsides I guess but until they spoke I didn't know that. I was sh!tting myself.

We arrived back home in the early hours of Thursday morning, couldn't sleep comfortably, nightmares all night relating to the last fortnights experiences. Last night took four cans of beer and half a litre of whisky to sleep. I'm going to go cold turkey tonight. Wish me luck.

Thinking of you and your family tonight and hoping for the very best of outcomes.

 

[remembercolinlee]

@deedub93

Glad you felt able to share on the board mate.
All the best over the bext month. Hope you and your daughter are not too distressed and hope Mrs Deedub continues to recover well.
Take care

 

[Spurlock]

I echo the sentiments of the rest of the posters...hope all works out well Deedub x

 

[littleDinosaurLuke]

Great day of sport
Without football

 

[humanbeingincroydon]

This one'll hurt...

You must log in or register to see media

 

[The Serious Guy]

Great day of sport
Without football

To the contray, Tipperary Senior Football Team went up to Cavan today and despite being six points down at half time ended up running out comfortable victors. The county isn't really known for its footballing ability, but it's the second year in a row that the teams beaten a big name opponent above in Breifne. People are calling it Tipperary's greatest ever footballing win, though I wouldn't go that far it was definitely a considerable one. The Hurling team followed suit shortly afterwards by beating seven shades of **** out of the visiting Dublin team. I wish I could say I was there, but unfortunately the good weather means its turf season so I spent the entire day out on the bog.

I highly recommened anyone with Sky Sports to give GAA a go if you see it listed, both sports are amazing specticals.

 

[O.Spurcat]

This one'll hurt...

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Tears in my eyes reading that.

 

[Citizen Kane]

Tears in my eyes reading that.

Same here.

My love for Jermain grows by the hour. New Years honour or I'm storming parliament.

 

[Citizen Kane]

Just had one of the most awful fortnights in my life, two weeks ago feels like yesterday, the last fourteen days seem to have merged into one. Friday night, the 23rd June, I was in the bar on the gold mine in the Congo when I received a phone call telling me my wife, who was on holiday with my daughter in Eritrea, her home country, was in intensive care and may not last the night. I spent the Saturday re arranging my ticket, left the mine on the Sunday, got attacked on the road, although it was only rocks thrown through the car windscreen but scary all the same, flew from Kamembe (Congo/Rwanda border) to Kigali, Kigali to Amsterdam, Amsterdam to London, London to Dubai then Dubai to Asmara (the capital of Eritrea). Yes I could have flown direct Kigali to Dubai but at short notice the cost was prohibitive.

I arrived at about 07:00 on Wednesday 28th June to be told she had been stabilised and was out of danger but needed an operation which, if carried out in Eritrea, would put her life at risk as keyhole surgery was not available and they would have to open her whole chest up. After many questions it turned out that she had eaten some meat with a bone in it. It got stuck in her oesophagus and she coughed up some but no all. After 4 days there was internal swelling which restricted her breathing. She went to the hospital, they gave her a general and used an endoscope to push the remnant food into her stomach. Unfortunately, this action resulted in an 8 inch tear in the wall of the oesophagus so as soon as she drank anything her pleural cavity filled up and collapsed her lungs.

When I first saw her they had cut holes on either side of her chest and inserted tubes to drain the cavities and had her breathing pure oxygen. Fortunately I have travel insurance with my bank account which covers my whole family. They agreed to send an air ambulance and take her to Nairobi for treatment, We (myself and Eritreans who were helping me) had to go to the Airport waving a letter from the local doctor to get clearance for the aircraft to land. She was taken to Nairobi at about 05:00 last Saturday morning.

They asked me if I wanted to travel on the plane myself along with my daughter, and for some mad inexplicable reason I declined (note to self: you are a fcukwit). I already had a ticket to London for Tuesday 4th so I bought a ticket for my daughter and headed for the airport at 03:30 in the morning. I should have anticipated issues as the previous day we were already getting grief from the immigration department because my wife had left without an exit visa. We explained that as she was somewhere between a coma and heavily sedated and it would have been nigh on impossible for her to obtain one. They were mighty pissed off but appeared to accept our explanation. Back to the airport, as my daughter and I tried to leave we were stopped because my daughter didn't have a exit visa either. My wife had got her an Eritrean ID card and she entered using that rather than her UK passport. Many years ago I used to attend many parties at the British Embassy in Asmara and the Ambassador had warned me off the issues relating to dual nationality children, sometimes you could never get them out, so I was beginning to panic.

I came close to losing it with a jobsworth immigration officer, but the sensible bit of my brain won the day, just, so I accepted we weren't going to leave and left the airport. With the help of very good Eritrean friends we obtained an Exit Visa for my daughter later that morning in record time, 1.5 hours (tell an Eritrean it is possible to obtain an Exit Visa in 1.5 hours and they will call you a screwball). Then it was a matter of buying new tickets, easier said than done in Asmara, it took until 20:00 Tuesday evening to get a pair for us, we had every travel agent in Asmara working on it, but 03:30 the Wednesday morning we were back at the Airport. This time we passed immigration controls with relative ease and boarded the plane. However, just before take-off immigration officers boarded the plane and made a b-line for me. Anyone ever had one of those heart-sinking moments? Fortunately they only wanted a phone number off me, they were trying to get a copy of my wife's passport to issue a retrospective exit visa to cover their own backsides I guess but until they spoke I didn't know that. I was sh!tting myself.

We arrived back home in the early hours of Thursday morning, couldn't sleep comfortably, nightmares all night relating to the last fortnights experiences. Last night took four cans of beer and half a litre of whisky to sleep. I'm going to go cold turkey tonight. Wish me luck.

Bloody hell deedub. Hope it all works out for you.

If it's any consolation, I know a bloke who could write the screenplay for a film. When you're ready of course.

 

[deedub93]

Bloody hell deedub. Hope it all works out for you.

If it's any consolation, I know a bloke who could write the screenplay for a film. When you're ready of course.

Most of my mates reckoned that I should write an autobiography before this, I may not have a choice now.

 

[deedub93]

To the contray, Tipperary Senior Football Team went up to Cavan today and despite being six points down at half time ended up running out comfortable victors. The county isn't really known for its footballing ability, but it's the second year in a row that the teams beaten a big name opponent above in Breifne. People are calling it Tipperary's greatest ever footballing win, though I wouldn't go that far it was definitely a considerable one. The Hurling team followed suit shortly afterwards by beating seven shades of **** out of the visiting Dublin team. I wish I could say I was there, but unfortunately the good weather means its turf season so I spent the entire day out on the bog.

I highly recommened anyone with Sky Sports to give GAA a go if you see it listed, both sports are amazing specticals.

I really got into GAA when I was working in Tipperary (Nenagh). I've let it slip now perhaps I should re-visit it. I once made the mistake when discussing the match, after a close victory for Tipperary over Cork, by saying Tipperary were lucky. I was in quite a famous bar in Nenagh, it was frequently on Irish television for their folk music. The barman asked me what the f*** I was talking about and was I trying to get myself barred? He was serious.... I think. The evening finished well, he taught me how to drink Guinness. Apparently I'd been doing it wrong for 30 years so he advised me that I had to start again. I had never realised that it was compulsory to drink a large whiskey whist waiting for the pint of Guinness to settle.

 

[vimhawk]

Just drove back from Manchester and might have got here a bit earlier if they hadn't been installing a "smart motorway". For those that haven't experienced such a thing, it's where the "smart" thing to do is set up an 18+ mile stretch of 50 mph limit (average speed camera controlled of course) for two years to build the thing - not that anyone is working today of course.

And what exactly do you get, well apparently it allows them to let you use the hard shoulder at times of high traffic. Wow. Two years to do that! I checked the costs and wiki says "A [?] contract was announced to extend the scheme to sections of the M1, M4, M5, M6, M60 and M62"... extended because apparently it was really good on the two sections of M6 they've already installed it on. I've put [?] so you can guess how much this is costing.

V
V
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Well it's £2 billion. I'll type that again. £2 billion. No money for the NHS though! I'm not sure how many miles of smart motorway you get for £2 billion though. Also I'm not sure if this is from the magic money tree or some other source. Don't think I heard any hack ask how it was to be paid for though. I think the ironic thing is that I'm not sure larger capacity roads make too much difference anyway. Also, how much less would it cost to enable them to switch from a three to a four lane at their discretion (when the hard shoulder becomes the fourth lane) then simply building an extra lane? I wonder if this has been properly thought through and it's providing (1) capacity that will really make a difference (2) capacity that can be provided in the cheapest way possible and most importantly (3) the best use of £2 billion!!!

 

[Citizen Kane]

Just drove back from Manchester and might have got here a bit earlier if they hadn't been installing a "smart motorway". For those that haven't experienced such a thing, it's where the "smart" thing to do is set up an 18+ mile stretch of 50 mph limit (average speed camera controlled of course) for two years to build the thing - not that anyone is working today of course.

And what exactly do you get, well apparently it allows them to let you use the hard shoulder at times of high traffic. Wow. Two years to do that! I checked the costs and wiki says "A [?] contract was announced to extend the scheme to sections of the M1, M4, M5, M6, M60 and M62"... extended because apparently it was really good on the two sections of M6 they've already installed it on. I've put [?] so you can guess how much this is costing.

V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V

Well it's £2 billion. I'll type that again. £2 billion. No money for the NHS though! I'm not sure how many miles of smart motorway you get for £2 billion though. Also I'm not sure if this is from the magic money tree or some other source. Don't think I heard any hack ask how it was to be paid for though. I think the ironic thing is that I'm not sure larger capacity roads make too much difference anyway. Also, how much less would it cost to enable them to switch from a three to a four lane at their discretion (when the hard shoulder becomes the fourth lane) then simply building an extra lane? I wonder if this has been properly thought through and it's providing (1) capacity that will really make a difference (2) capacity that can be provided in the cheapest way possible and most importantly (3) the best use of £2 billion!!!

Having driven the M3 recently I can attest that the bulk of that £2billion has been spent on traffic cones. That or they've found a way to breed the things.

 

[littleDinosaurLuke]

Just drove back from Manchester and might have got here a bit earlier if they hadn't been installing a "smart motorway". For those that haven't experienced such a thing, it's where the "smart" thing to do is set up an 18+ mile stretch of 50 mph limit (average speed camera controlled of course) for two years to build the thing - not that anyone is working today of course.

And what exactly do you get, well apparently it allows them to let you use the hard shoulder at times of high traffic. Wow. Two years to do that! I checked the costs and wiki says "A [?] contract was announced to extend the scheme to sections of the M1, M4, M5, M6, M60 and M62"... extended because apparently it was really good on the two sections of M6 they've already installed it on. I've put [?] so you can guess how much this is costing.

V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V

Well it's £2 billion. I'll type that again. £2 billion. No money for the NHS though! I'm not sure how many miles of smart motorway you get for £2 billion though. Also I'm not sure if this is from the magic money tree or some other source. Don't think I heard any hack ask how it was to be paid for though. I think the ironic thing is that I'm not sure larger capacity roads make too much difference anyway. Also, how much less would it cost to enable them to switch from a three to a four lane at their discretion (when the hard shoulder becomes the fourth lane) then simply building an extra lane? I wonder if this has been properly thought through and it's providing (1) capacity that will really make a difference (2) capacity that can be provided in the cheapest way possible and most importantly (3) the best use of £2 billion!!!

There have been roadworks on a stretch of the M60 north of Manchester (Rochdale to Bolton, both directions) for this "smart" motorway for around 4 years, I think. This is one of the busiest stretches of motorway outside the M25.
That's just dumb, not smart.

 

["Thanks for that Brian"]

There have been roadworks on a stretch of the M60 north of Manchester (Rochdale to Bolton, both directions) for this "smart" motorway for around 4 years, I think. This is one of the busiest stretches of motorway outside the M25.
That's just dumb, not smart.

Drove that stretch of road at 5pm on a Friday night. A fecking disaster. It would have been quicker to walk................... backwards.