Wasn't a great joke, but probably makes more sense and mildly funnier if you've lived in the US and experienced Baptists first hand.
A petrol attendent is filling a man's car, when he notices that a small penguin was sitting in the back seat. The attendant turns to the man and asks what the deal is with the penguin. "Well" the man says. "I found the little guy a few weeks ago wandering around looking sad. I've been going crazy thinking of things I can do for him." "There's a zoo just down the road," replies the attendant. "Why don't you take him there". The man thanks the attendant, pays, and drives off to the zoo. A few days later the man pulls up to the petrol station and again is met by the attendant who notices that the penguin is still in the back of the car. "I thought you were taking him to the zoo" asks the attendant. "I did thanks" answers the man. "He loved it, so I'm taking him to the beach today".
According to my paternal grandmother I'm supposed to be part gypsy. . Didn't show on the DNA test I took though... Unless it was a Swedish Gypsy.
Drunk Blonde A blonde is driving down a deserted highway when she gets pulled over. The cop gets out of his car and asks if she has been drinking and she replies "No". His breathalyzer equipment is broken So he radios the station and asks what to do. The cop at the station says "Is she a blond driving a lipstick red corvette?" and the cop replies "Yes". So the other cop says "What you do is tell her to get out of the car and pull out your dick as you walk up to her". So the cop does exactly what the other cop says. The blond gets out of the car and he whips out his dick. The blond "sighs" and says "Please not another breathalyzer test!"
A little old lady with blue hair entered the marital aids shop and asked in a quivering voice, “Yy-young man, dd-do y-you sell-dildos h-here?” The salesman, somewhat taken aback by the little old lady’s appearance in his shop, answered “Uh, yes, ma’am. We do.” The little old lady, holding her quivering hands about 10 inches apart asked, “D-do y-you ha-aave any ab-bb-bout th-this l-long?” “Well, yes ma’am, we do. We have several that size.” Forming a 5″ circle with her fingers, she then asked, “A-are an-nny ofth-them about thi-is b-big ar-round-d?” “Well… Yes, a few of them are about that big.” “D-do aa-ny of th-them ha-ave a vv-ii-bra-a-ator?” “Yes, Ma`am, one of them does.” “W-Wel-ll, h-how d-do y-you t-turn it off?”
This lorry driver sat eating his egg and chips in a transport café, when ten Hells Angels walked in. They walked up to the lorry driver, started eating his dinner and drinking his tea. The lorry driver stood up and walked out. The Hells Angels leader walked up to the counter sticking his chest out, said, "He wasn't much of a man was he"?. "No" said the café manager, "he wasn't much of a lorry driver either, he just reversed over ten motorbikes"
A recent survey asked 100 sexually active woman if their twat twitched after sex. Ninety-eight per cent replied, No, he just rolls over and goes to sleep.
Two women on their way back from a night out stop off in a graveyard for a pee. One wipes her fanny with her knickers, and the other uses a wreath of flowers. The next day their two husbands were in the pub One says I'd better watch my wife, she came home with no knickers on last night. The other man says that's nothing, mine had a card wedged in her arse cheeks saying, "We'll never forget you. From all the boys at the rugby club"!
Once upon a time, there was a guy sunbathing in the nude. He saw a little girl coming towards him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he was reading. The girl came up to him and asked "What do you have under the newspaper, mister?" "A bird," the guy replied. The little girl walked away and the guy fell asleep. When he woke up, he was in a hospital in tremendous pain. When the Police asked him what happened, the guy replied, "I don't know. I was lying on the beach, this girl asked me about my privates, and the next thing I know is I'm here." Police went back to the beach, found the girl, and asked her "What did you do to that naked fellow?" After a little pause, the girl replied, "To him? Nothing. I was playing with the bird and it spit on me, so I broke its neck, cracked its eggs, and set its nest on fire."
