OK lads, as i'm sure none of you are aware i work at a local (ish) hotel. I'm not gonna say which one but Leeds are staying there Tuesday. I'm running two pre-match dinners for the scum and just thought, what to do? I can't let this oppurtunity pass surely?? It'll have to be subtle, my mate i'm running it with happens to be a big-time Leeds fan so is likely to sabotage anything too extravagant!
What, the lazy bastards can't face the massive journey home and have to spend money on a hotel?! I guess you have that money to spare when your star signing is Billy Paynter.
Wouldn't that be hours after the final whistle? I reckon dragging their cuttlery through your arse cheeks would work, but make sure the dull side of the knife's against your starfish.
Actually they'll most likely arrive in the morning and use the hotel as a base during the day before going home straight from the stadium, they still book rooms at full price 2 per player. That's what most of the clubs do if it's a night match, amazing really but it all pays my wage so i'm not complaining. It's really the food bit i can influence, though they tend to leave their tactics on the flipcharts we provide them with, anyone got NPs number? OLM?
Sorry i didn't type that very well, they pick there own food, usually fruit, chicken, scrambled egg, plain pasta and jacket spuds (among other boring things) there are usually sauces or soup so some sort of laxative would be possible. Or viagra? maybe it would cause our lads more discomfort (i can see them having free headers at corners) but it would be ****ing hilarious to see them all with rods on
Fruit, chicken,scrambled egg, plain pasta and jacket spuds.............Why don't William Booth's change the menu?.....same old...same old!!
put ajax in the salt pot and pot in the pepper pot. put gravy in the vinegar pot and salad cream in the tomato ketchup pot. put pepper in the popery pot. put mayonaze in the salad cream pot. put margarine in the butter pot. inject the fruit with heroine. put biscuits in the friut bowl.
sorry newbs. i did'nt want to get you expectations up. the truth is that this forum is like a cauldren of hatred were everyone is trying to steal your braincells. dont keave them lying around. dont put them on a chair and turn round so that you cant see them. and msot of all when your in a suprtmarket dont leave your handbag hanging on your trolly when your miles away selecting meat off the frozen meat isles. that way lies madness. you will turn round and your handbags will have gone and your braincells will hav ebeen taken over by wild eyed monkeys with evil in their heads.
