Your sales from homegrown talent.

JJ - I love you too

 

Feck me Dave! Are you on the turn?

 

Well, you can't blame him can you Warky!

 

Don't tell me your newt as a pissed again?

I hope Mrs Dave is keeping an eye on you!

JJ - I can't really blame him! I'd want to get pissed if I had to wear Yella and Green!

 

You have a point there, Warky.

I japed some time ago that there should be a social-anthropological study of Norwich fans, given their extraordinarily nerdish manner and the quite fantastic stupidity they display on message boards.

I think the hilarious, effeminate colours they play in is an obvious starting point for any explanations. Imagine it: You affiliate to a team that strut about in garb befitting of children’s TV presenters, or gay chat-show hosts perhaps. What would that do to you, especially when your rivals are a far more illustrious club?

Funding should be provided for academic research on this.

I could recount to said researchers my experience living in Norwich. There I was, recently out of the army; handsome, of stalwart bearing and derring-do reputation. What were the womenfolk of Norwich to do, given their sad suitors and tragic football team?

No wonder the zit-infested, frustrated message board wums love me!

 

What is it with you and homosexuals Jonah ?

Have you got something to tell us ?

You are amongst friends buttercup.

 

You’re trying to deflect the issue again by hiding behind the usual guff. And you do know that “gay” means bad, unfortunate, naff etc as well. Actually, your stupid outfit fits both.

So, are you aware of any connection between the camp colours of your team and the hilarious sadness of your club and its “fans” (if they can be given such a respectable description)? Do you think you wouldn’t be such a joke if your founders hadn’t lit upon the only thing Norwich was famous for (importing canaries, hysterically)? As opposed to proper clubs with proper teams that are based in proper towns that were founded as proper functioning ports and industrial centres?

Is this why you’re such a bunch of trolling nerds?

 

Busy day then I see JJ, I am off to see the Foo Fighters (you might have heard of them) in MK.

Any plans for this glorious summer day ?

Maybe you should chill out, calm down and play with your sister in the garden ?

 

Now isn’t that just typical of Luddite Norwich fans – would rather wazzock about in the sun in bowl-shaped venues than advance academic knowledge.

Think of what could be achieved with more understanding of how sporting affiliation can affect psychological development.

I saw the Foo Fighters at a V festival at Chelmsford, by the way. I believe that was one when I more or less passed out by the Budweiser tent and completely missed The Seahorses. Oh well.

 

Ah they were killer line-ups at that time - not bands that have been around for 20 years because nothing new is coming through.

The Seahorses set was pretty spectacular that day, you missed out big time.

 

I saw The Seahorses in Oberhausen in 98, they were gash but Oasis were worse...

Everyone from Norwich is a stupid idiot, I like mustard though

 

I have just noticed actually that they didn't ever play on the same bill at V... Seahorses were a year later...

But looking at the quality of the second stage compared to the dross I had to wait through for Pulp on Sunday it's pretty incredible...

V97

V Stage: Blur, The Prodigy, Kula Shaker, Beck, Dodgy, Foo Fighters, Reef, Placebo, Pavement, Fluke, Teenage Fanclub, Apollo 440, The Supernaturals, Echobelly

NME Stage: Ash, The Bluetones, Mansun, Gene, The Divine Comedy, Longpigs, Monaco, Echo & the Bunnymen, Symposium, Geneva, Silver Sun, Veruca Salt, Embrace, Hurricane#1, ac acoustics, Stereophonics, Linoleum, The Driven, Radish

Virgin High Energy Tent: The Chemical Brothers, Daft Punk, Dreadzone, Propellerheads, Death in Vegas, Sneaker Pimps, Gus Gus, Lionrock, Jimi Tenor, Olive, Finley Quaye, Bentley Rhythm Ace, Carl Cox

V98

V Stage: The Verve, The Charlatans, The Seahorses, Texas, Green Day, Robbie Williams, Lightning Seeds, Space, Iggy Pop, James, Chumbawamba, Stereophonics, Marion, Feeder, Whale, Rialto, Young Offenders, Headswim

NME Stage: Underworld, Fun Lovin Criminals, The Jesus and Mary Chain, Ian Brown, Catatonia, PJ Harvey, Saint Etienne, Morcheeba, Lo Fidelity Allstars, Republica, Gomez, Dandy Warhols, The Montrose Avenue, theaudience, Midget, One Lady Owner, Superstar, The Smiles

Dance Tent: James Brown, All Saints, Roni Size, K-Gee, Björn Again, Cornershop, Roachford, 67y, Karen Ramirez, Faithless, Regular Fries, DJ Norman Jay, Tin Star, Lionrock, Dean Thatcher, Moloko, Boom Boom Satellites, Disque Blu, Cuba

 

Obviously, he is such a massive wasteman he was passed out for a year and a few hours.

 

Or possibly even longer... all we know is he saw the Foo Fighters and passed out thereafter and was still lying by the Budweiser tent a year later...

 

I was there for 97 and 98.

In 97 I was only there the night The Prodigy were the headliners on the main stage, Blur were obviously t’other night. I remember we got there slightly late (due to me losing my wallet on the train, with everyone’s tickets therein) and we stumbled in during Apollo 440. Beck was good - that was the summer the “Odelay” album came out, if memory serves.

In 98 we went for the whole weekend. The Verve were headliners day one and the Charlatans day two. I will always remember some of my number’s tent: grubby brown colour and so badly assembled it looked like it had been literally dropped out of a passing helicopter. Never have I seen a sadder tent and there was actually two of them managing to sleep in it somehow. Watterlogging and all.

When I came round from my Seahorses slumber The Charlatans were just coming on.

 

I was lucky enough to have VIP passes which I abused to get up close to Donna Air and All Saints ha ha.

I think one time we stayed in a tent, which we literally threw together and it poured with rain flooding everything so we drove down from Suffolk each day after that debacle.

 

Give me Jim Reeves, Johnny Cash and Jimmy Hendrix any day!

 

I'm with you on that JWM - are we getting old, do you reckon?

 

Life aint easy for a boy named Sue!