Off Topic Your Dad ....

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Do any of you dog people know anything about Scottish Deerhounds, we're planning on a couple of pups .... or Irish Wolfhounds?

We thought we'd have a pair, from different litters, so we can breed them and sell the pups to recover the cost.

They're around £1500 each so there's quite an outlay ...... we'd like them to live in one of the stables and have the run of the place.
 
Do any of you dog people know anything about Scottish Deerhounds, we're planning on a couple of pups .... or Irish Wolfhounds?

We thought we'd have a pair, from different litters, so we can breed them and sell the pups to recover the cost.

They're around £1500 each so there's quite an outlay ...... we'd like them to live in one of the stables and have the run of the place.

Can't help you mate, but that's not a bad price considering my mate just paid £4,500 for a pair of French Bull Terriers.
 
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Just like we all did mate, Paper Round, Milk Round, Tattie Picking, Flogging Coal round the doors, all that good stuff. My old man used to even make me follow the rag and bone man round the estate to pick the **** up off the horse so he could make manure for his frigging roses :( Imagine asking a kid to do that these days, Social Services would have a field day eh? but I guess that's what makes us what we are today unlike some of the kids coming through now. They don't know they're born, **** me!!! i'm even sounding like my old man now :)

That brings back memories for me.

When I was a kid in Leadgate I got a job with Tommy Southern who was the local rag & bone man ..... horse & cart, balloons for the kids <laugh>

The two main responsibilities of my position were, firstly to jump off and retrieve any scrap at the side of the road.

Secondly, to mind the horse and put his nosebag on while Tommy had his bait in the Hat & Feathers.

He was a true gentleman and respected throughout the area ..... I'll never forget him.
 
Do any of you dog people know anything about Scottish Deerhounds, we're planning on a couple of pups .... or Irish Wolfhounds?

We thought we'd have a pair, from different litters, so we can breed them and sell the pups to recover the cost.

They're around £1500 each so there's quite an outlay ...... we'd like them to live in one of the stables and have the run of the place.

I can hook you up with a load of advice from an experienced Scottish Sheppard. He's a historic Scottish naturalist historian(however you say that). He'll know his stuff. It's my uncle by marriage as it happens. an ex minister who runs nature walks in Inverness-shire these day. He knows everything about reindeer in the highlands so sure to know a lot about this breed of dog. He's a dog person too which helps. Drop me a pm or quote this post tommorow and I'll sort you out his email address.. Had a tad to drink and might miss it tomorrow. :)
 
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That brings back memories for me.

When I was a kid in Leadgate I got a job with Tommy Southern who was the local rag & bone man ..... horse & cart, balloons for the kids <laugh>

The two main responsibilities of my position were, firstly to jump off and retrieve any scrap at the side of the road.

Secondly, to mind the horse and put his nosebag on while Tommy had his bait in the Hat & Feathers.

He was a true gentleman and respected throughout the area ..... I'll never forget him.

Good times mate, sadly they no longer exist and it's a shame. There's a guy comes round our way now, but he uses a pick up truck, but he plays the Steptoe theme tune when he comes in the street :) and you don't get a balloon, or pegs, or a goldfish :(
 
Great believer in not taking things to the grave with you ,Mike and the mechanics track ;

Every generation
Blames the one before
And all of their frustrations
Come beating on your door

I know that I'm a prisoner
To all my father held so dear
I know that I'm a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him
In the living years

Crumpled bits of paper
Filled with imperfect thought
Stilted conversations
I'm afraid that's all we've got

You say you just don't see it
He says it's perfect sense
You just can't get agreement
In this present tense
We all talk a different language
Talking in defence

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye

So we open up a quarrel
Between the present and the past
We only sacrifice the future
It's the bitterness that lasts

So don't yield to the fortunes
You sometimes see as fate
It may have a new perspective
On a different day
And if you don't give up,
And don't give in
You may just be OK

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye

I wasn't there that morning
When my father passed away
I didn't get to tell him
All the things I had to say.
I think I caught his spirit
Later that same year
I'm sure I heard his echo
In my baby's new born tears
I just wish I could have told him
In the living years

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye

Just thought I'd repost this for no particular reason ...
 
I've written this post out at least 4 times now and just keep deleting it.

The truth is I've written it out in my head a million times in my life and just kept deleting it.

Good topic Smug. Men often keep this sort of stuff bottled up, you don't know who you might have helped with this one.

Very powerful mate ...

... puts me in mind of this.


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Great believer in not taking things to the grave with you ,Mike and the mechanics track ;

Every generation
Blames the one before
And all of their frustrations
Come beating on your door

I know that I'm a prisoner
To all my father held so dear
I know that I'm a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him
In the living years

Crumpled bits of paper
Filled with imperfect thought
Stilted conversations
I'm afraid that's all we've got

You say you just don't see it
He says it's perfect sense
You just can't get agreement
In this present tense
We all talk a different language
Talking in defence

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye

So we open up a quarrel
Between the present and the past
We only sacrifice the future
It's the bitterness that lasts

So don't yield to the fortunes
You sometimes see as fate
It may have a new perspective
On a different day
And if you don't give up,
And don't give in
You may just be OK

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye

I wasn't there that morning
When my father passed away
I didn't get to tell him
All the things I had to say.
I think I caught his spirit
Later that same year
I'm sure I heard his echo
In my baby's new born tears
I just wish I could have told him
In the living years

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye

This song came into my head when my dad died, not cos we didn't get on but because of 1 line in the song - I wasn't there that morning when my father passed away. I was supposed to see him the night before he died but I was on nights and didn't sleep much during the day and was shattered. Just one of the regrets I have in life.
 
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well...my dad was again 'old school' in many things, never heard him swear (bloody was about the worst it got), smoked a pipe and worked hard..was old school in his thoughts of childcare, leaving most to my mam.

he came in from work and we all had our bait together then i was off to bed/out the room so they could watch the news in peace, sundays was shooting day and many a time my fave day as he would take me along, meet his marra billy over the woods and bag a couple of rabbits or pigeons befoe home to start on the dinner.

he was never one for football or never showed it and unfortunately he died when i was 12...i got loads of 'advice' as i was now 'the man of the house' and in all honesty that sent me down a path i wish i had never tread, previous to this i was pretty damn good at my schoolwork etc but got it into my head that i made my own choices now and had to start acting like a man, except i was nowhere near the required calibre and screwed it all up.

i tried to make a lot of time for my own sons (no daughters) and hope i did ok, none of us know how to be a parent and some just manage to do a better job than others and some just plain suck at it...i was not the best but i dare say i was a hell of a long way from the worst so i would most likely tell my dad i understand...guess that would do it, i think.

thanks for the thread @Smug and the replies lads...i think in the main we can all take something from it.
 
Hope I don't regret posting this but here goes, I've had a few San Miguel as usual, too many for my age, so if I miss any typos and I ramble too much please forgive me.

Never knew my parents, there was 4 of us, 3 boys and a girl, all abandoned to the wonderful Sooth Shields social services when I was 6 months old. I obviously have no memories of this but my older sister and my eldest brother do. We were split up over time except me and my 1 year older brother. I've never met my eldest brother to this day, he knows about us but can't bring himself to make full contact. My sister found us a few years ago and we are now very close, I'm still the baby of the family in her eyes and that's ok by me. We're 60 years older now and we have our own little families. When I look at her kids I see my daughter in all their faces and I wonder how we would be as a family had we been allowed full contact by social services all those years ago.
I've known my other brother all my life as were never separated and we worked for over 40 years together as a 1 and 1 plastering squad but there has always been a coolness between us because of our past. I love his kids like they were mine and he thinks the same about my daughter but we can't get past a handshake and a nod.

My lovely sister found out we all have a little half sister 5 years ago and she is the best of us all, she had no idea she had this crazy disjointed family until we made contact, we have the same mother and as normal she dumped her like she did us.

Whenever we get together for birthdays or other occasions the connection between us all is tangible but the feeling of all those lost years brings a sadness we all feel, maybe time will heal our hurt. We were robbed of a family life by selfish uncaring adults/parents and I think that's why I have a very strong bond with my little girl, she is and has always been my world.

So in response to the original post 'Your Dad' Mine was a coward, a piece of **** of a man, there isn't a force on this earth that would make me abandon my child. I'm so pleased I never knew him cos if I did I might have became like the father he was.

A little postscript to all my ramblings, My daughter proposed to her partner just before Christmas, it was a leap year so it's allowed. We hope covid doesn't stop an informal beach wedding at the end of this year and all of my small family can come over to attend the ceremony. I'll be the proudest man in the world that day when I walk her down the aisle.
 
Living away from me Favva is pretty ****e. The more years that go by the harder it gets.

Covid is a constantly reminder of mortality too which has made the last 12 months one big head and heart **** for me.

Look forward to having a beer with him in a couple of years.
 
I was brought up by my grandparents until I was around 13. So my grandad was essentially my dad.
To put it into perspective. My dad got Mum pregnant. This was back in 1966. My grandparents never approved of mum as she was one of eight kids brought up in a council house in Hertford. Ironically both my grandparents were also brought up in council houses. Bottom line is that they probably thought she’d trapped him.
My dad is an only child. This is important as my grandparents always wanted more than one but for whatever reason couldn’t.
Anyway mum and dad got married and five months later I arrive on the scene along with mums PND.
About three weeks later it was ‘suggested’ by my grandparents to my mum and dad that I should stay with them in Sunderland for a few weeks whilst mum got better and that I’ll go back to Hertford later. That ‘later’ turned into 13 years later. So essentially my grandad was my father figure.
My mum and dad moved to Sunderland to be closer to me and to facilitate me moving back with them but knowing what I know now that was never going to happen in the short term as my grandparents got the second child they always wanted and were determined to keep me. They would always find reasons not to give me back. I saw my mum and dad regularly every week in fact and it must’ve been eating them up inside having to leave me.
Having spoken to other relatives, they all knew what was happening. In retrospect some have said that they should have stepped in and stopped it but they never did. I guess that’s something they will have to live with.
I was very close to my grandad and was devastated when he died. To me he was a big giant of a man. He never laid a finger on me. He was my dad and I loved him. But he and my grandmother were very strong forceful personalities. Generally what they wanted they got and they didn’t care who they upset to get it and that included their only son. I know that my grandmother would tell people that my mum was mentally deranged and that’s why I lived with them. They even said that they would take my parents through every court to prove they were unfit to keep me.
I made the decision to live with my mum and dad when I was 13. I knew that they were good people and that I should live with them. I have a great relationship with my dad and always have. But he often tells me that allowing what happened is a source of ongoing shame for him. I’ve never blamed him for it and never will. He and my mum were up against two very strong willed people and they just didn’t know or have the skills to deal with it.
I have a son now who is nearly 20. Me and Mrs EJK have tried to bring him up well. Before he left home to join the Navy we told him every day that we loved him. He’s turned into a lovely young man. It’s a shame that my dad wasn’t able to share that with me.
So in short, I love my dad. I may not have had the relationship I should have had with him but he’s a good man.
Jeeez, well that was a bit cathartic typing out that.
 
I was brought up by my grandparents until I was around 13. So my grandad was essentially my dad.
To put it into perspective. My dad got Mum pregnant. This was back in 1966. My grandparents never approved of mum as she was one of eight kids brought up in a council house in Hertford. Ironically both my grandparents were also brought up in council houses. Bottom line is that they probably thought she’d trapped him.
My dad is an only child. This is important as my grandparents always wanted more than one but for whatever reason couldn’t.
Anyway mum and dad got married and five months later I arrive on the scene along with mums PND.
About three weeks later it was ‘suggested’ by my grandparents to my mum and dad that I should stay with them in Sunderland for a few weeks whilst mum got better and that I’ll go back to Hertford later. That ‘later’ turned into 13 years later. So essentially my grandad was my father figure.
My mum and dad moved to Sunderland to be closer to me and to facilitate me moving back with them but knowing what I know now that was never going to happen in the short term as my grandparents got the second child they always wanted and were determined to keep me. They would always find reasons not to give me back. I saw my mum and dad regularly every week in fact and it must’ve been eating them up inside having to leave me.
Having spoken to other relatives, they all knew what was happening. In retrospect some have said that they should have stepped in and stopped it but they never did. I guess that’s something they will have to live with.
I was very close to my grandad and was devastated when he died. To me he was a big giant of a man. He never laid a finger on me. He was my dad and I loved him. But he and my grandmother were very strong forceful personalities. Generally what they wanted they got and they didn’t care who they upset to get it and that included their only son. I know that my grandmother would tell people that my mum was mentally deranged and that’s why I lived with them. They even said that they would take my parents through every court to prove they were unfit to keep me.
I made the decision to live with my mum and dad when I was 13. I knew that they were good people and that I should live with them. I have a great relationship with my dad and always have. But he often tells me that allowing what happened is a source of ongoing shame for him. I’ve never blamed him for it and never will. He and my mum were up against two very strong willed people and they just didn’t know or have the skills to deal with it.
I have a son now who is nearly 20. Me and Mrs EJK have tried to bring him up well. Before he left home to join the Navy we told him every day that we loved him. He’s turned into a lovely young man. It’s a shame that my dad wasn’t able to share that with me.
So in short, I love my dad. I may not have had the relationship I should have had with him but he’s a good man.
Jeeez, well that was a bit cathartic typing out that.
Great post mate
 
...... what is the one thing you would say to him, whether he's alive or not?

My Dad was a terrible man .... a hard drinker who'd fight anyone for the price of a pint and worked in the pits 'til he was my age.
He broke my nose with a great right hander, always gave me a hard time and never showed me any affection.

But, I've come to realise that he was conditioned by his upbringing just as I was with mine.

He died from pneumoconiosis, pitman's lung, and never complained ....... just like many others.

If I could have him here for one day, to see what I've done, I'd hug him and tell him I love him.

He was a right hard sod to me, but now I realise that he had it much tougher than I ever will.
Sounds like our dads were very much alike. My dad mellowed in his later years and was a far better grandad than he was a dad. The pit also killed him in the end with lung disease a major factor, but I had already made my peace with him before that.