You Know You're A ***** When....

Captain Fantastic the brown nosed cowboy?

 

Or country.

 

When you become uncontrollably sexually attracted to double glazing.

 

when you make a complete idiot of yourself on the internet and claim that you were being ironic or at the wind up.

 

You enjoy Formula 1 Racing

You are over 16 and watch WWE

 

'

 

...you have to be told 5 times that certain things can't be done on an App

 

When you're sitting in the queue at the doctors thinking what a nice young man he is as the receptionist calls Dr Shipman will see you now.

 

Not obsessed, no siree bob.

Posted from the not606 android app

 

you're in your 30s and still wear fancy dress at Hallowe'en

You start planning for Christmas in October

 

When your head doesn't fit through a keyhole.

 

You've just done a big wattery ****e and just noticed after the event there's no bog roll

 

When the candidate that looks like Scarlett Johansson believes she got the job on merit.

 

When you try to get someones attention by disliking posts, instead of just speaking to them.

 

You think people committing public order offences at or on the way to a football match is just a bit of banter

 

When you bring either religion or politics into sport.

 

When you think singing paramilitary songs at the football is educational.

 

You wear a football top to church or bring a bible to a football match

 

you hire baby sitters called kate and gerry

 

'