Off Topic XMAS THREAD, IS IT TOO EARLY

My old place of work had seriously dangerous parties in a hotel. Always fireworks

 

A firm I worked for used to have it's Xmas parties in a pub/restaurant in Birmingham which had a conservatory in the centre with tropical plants, all very trendy. One year one of the married "ladies" in her late 40's got very drunk and disappeared into the planted area with one of the graduate entrants aged about 23. Our table was on the other side of the conservatory area where they decided to go.

The entire office watched as her arse was pushed up against the glass as her young colleague pumped away. The two of them then returned to the table as everyone pretended nothing had happened. Needless to say once everyone was back in work on the Monday, and the gossip started, the lady concerned went home sick and was never seen again. The graduate entrant lasted about a month then was binned off as he was useless at the job, failing to keep appointments, etc.

I always wondered whether he just misinterpreted the "entrant" part of his job title.

 

PREPARE FOR A WHITE CHRISMAS !

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The mrs (nm) invited her sister and four ****ing kids around for Christmas. Apparently, the four kids (9, 7, 3 & 1 yrs) have NEVER had turkey

Fair enough with the youngest two but nine and seven?

Oh, and they're all stopping over Christmas Eve too. FML!

 

that's a crazy killer of your whole Christmas mate.

I would get extra ham and assume at least 2 won't bloody eat any turkey. they get a look at it's darker than chicken and they turn noses up at it.

is she (sister) on her own or what?

you've got to do Santa for 7?

 

On her own now yes, her last fella cheated on her a couple of months back.

Can't even get ****ered, got to drive Christmas Day

 

you never heard of a taxi - thought they would have reached even Mansfield by now.

 

On Christmas Day? Two taxis there and back (so four fares)? **** that!

 

eek... well... sometimes you have to take one for the team.

hopefully your lot get on with their cousins.... and the Christmas presents are equal.

 

TBF, I can never get rat arsed on Christmas Eve. Nor do I really want to, prefer to enjoy Christmas Day with my boys.

 

yeah it could be good but it needs serious alignment on presents and there needs to be best behaviours and not spoilt brats.

turkey and ham for 7 kids and the same just for you That's a lot of cooking.

 

I don't mind cooking. Won't be that much; the seven kids, the mrs and her sister don't eat loads. I'll eat as much as them combined

 

Enjoy!!!!!!!!

 

a) why would you pay for both taxis ?
b)tell everyone its time to get back to the real meaning of Christmas & "plan" a nice old fashioned religious holiday. that should mean sister in law decides christmas should be spent at home.
c) get **** faces christmas eve so you can't drive the next day as still over the limit

thoughtful tips from Mr Grinch

 

I'm going to have a word with someone I know, see if I can borrow a mini-bus for Christmas

 

Just have the outlaws so 7 in total which is fine.

 

**** it

 

#thatwentwell

 

lol big talk astro , hows your #conte prediction doing .

Anyway dream up your avatar for me to put up as Seville are pants. I can't fight #fate when you luck out a group like the one you have

 

Offering your avatar too? Bet was just the £20 + sig