Xmas entertainment and strange family traditions and ****/secret santa, better than the other thread

If I get it, it'll be Me, my mrs, my mate, my old man, all on bumbles, and were all pretty crude tbh

 

Captain tossing himself off about Ashley going to Saudi.

When he’s actually gone to Dubai

Quality.

 

He's gone to see mandy

 

Yeah he’d do that when she’s got a house in London like.

He’ll be staying in Dubai for a few days and likely getting in a helicopter to nip over to Abu Dhabi for the GP.

 

Nice little trip to see mandy few pints with MBS at the grand prix

 

Crude? Never. I've always taken you for a gentleman,scholar and a heavy beer drinker.

 

Yeh them too, never those ones all at the same time though mate

 

Sounds safer than playing with a "strict and proper" Eastern European lady like my Mum.

We used to play out in the cul-de-sac, us and our neighbours would set up a card table, some chairs, and bring out all the alcohol from each of our houses.

Inebriated on multiple different liquors is how that game is supposed to be played.

 

Im gonna get it **** it, if its **** its ****, we all think we're cunny funts anyway so should be a laugh

Why you up so late?

 

So few weeks ago I musta been high af and bought a mystery gift from wowcher for a tenner, completely forgot about it tbh but this is what arrived just now...



The charger don't work on my phone and the poxy led photo garbage takes battery's. Like wtf takes battery's anymore you stupid ****s


Some, I'm gonna guess asian batards made a fortune off me today.

 

Done all of my Christmas shopping yesterday & today and haven’t left the house.

I’ve been extra generous this year, as it’s been so ****ing ****e, I’ll bring a few smiles and hopefully a few wows to the faces of my nearest and dearest bless ‘em. Especially the better half as she’s had to put up with me being caged for most of the year ffs.

 

In contrast to @Tobes

This recent tier 4 **** has kinda fuked up my traditional Xmas eve shop for presents

Luckily I already got the main ones in but a few are gonna get **** all if I can't get nothing while I'm out today, wish me luck

 

Where are you intending going, Tesco’s or Mr Ahmed’s?

 

I think savers is still going, gonna have to be some scents probably

 

It’s the thought that counts.

 

Does Amazon have next day/same day delivery over there?

Lol... Not that you can ever trust their shipping guarantees anyway.

 

Its no. One important I have to get for I done all the main ones I said, it's juts **** like socks, all that crap you hand out to people Yknow

 

Not since the pandemic lol.

 

Pound shop

 

Saw yor mum outside again begging for 10ps