Time for a little review, methinks...
BEST GAME(S)
Belgium vs Japan
- While the first half wasn't much, the second half was perhaps the most thrilling 45 minutes of football in the entire tournament, with Japan taking a deserved 2-0 lead that had Belgium staring down the barrel until Roberto Martinez had the genius idea of maybe playing Kevin De Bruyne in his preferred position, and doing so led to a fightback that saw Belgium clinch victory in the dying seconds of the game with a superb counter attacking move
France vs Argentina
- On paper it looked like the French would stroll this one due to Argentina being utterly dismal in the group stages as they apparently expected Messi and Di Maria to make something out of the nothing the rest of their team was providing, but instead we got a game where a motivated Argentina played their best football of the tournament against a France side clicking into gear that saw them win the tournament, with some cracking goals flying in from all over the place
Honourable mentions
Morocco vs Iran: While not the spectacle of so many other games, it was a hell of a lot of fun to see the two teams kick seven bells out of one another
Germany vs Sweden: An all-action game reminiscent of the "Bloody Germans" trope of old, won with a sublime free kick from Kroos
Croatia vs Argentina: After an open and reasonably even first half the combination of Croatian brilliance and Argentine collapse was breathtaking
Spain vs Portugal: Spain played some casually beautiful football once tiki-taka was off the table, while Portugal's cheating was masterful
WORST GAME
Uruguay vs Egypt
- A dreary affair from start to finish, with Uruguay's players seemingly not bothered while Egypt's weren't up to the task
Honourable mentions
Sweden vs Switzerland: I legit fell asleep during this match
France vs Denmark: Two teams content to spend ninety minutes having a leisurely jog in the sunshine
Croatia vs Nigeria: Nigeria were ****e and Croatia couldn't be bothered
"WHERE THE HELL DID YOU COME FROM?" AWARD
Jo Hyeon-woo (South Korea)
- Plays for K-League space-fillers Daegu and mocked for his ginger duck's arse hairstyle before Korea's opening game against Sweden, but he did a hell of a lot to boost his stock in Korea's truncated tournament, especially his heroics against Germany
Honourable mentions
Jordan Pickford (England): Looked like the pick of a bang average bunch before the tournament, but had some superb performances
Domagoj Vida (Croatia): Was so far off the radar at Dynamo Kyiv only Besiktas came in for him in January, now he's on many transfer wishlists
Denis Cheryshev (Russia): After years of being an afterthought at club and international level, elevated his international tally from 0 to 4
Yerry Mina (Colombia): Scored in every single match he played, which isn't bad for a centre back
Yussuf Poulsen (Denmark): Overlooked ahead of the tournament in favour of Eriksen and Sisto, but his all-action performances stood out
"WELL THAT SUCKED" AWARD(S)
Argentina
- While there was some quality in their team (Messi, Di Maria, Aguero, Higuain, Banega) so much of it was nullified by a combination of inept tactics which appeared to consist of telling the teams "Just give the ball to Leo, he'll did you out of a hole" and a dreadful defence, while comparisons to Argentina sides of old (not least the 1998 or 2006 teams) are pretty damning given their lack of a Simeone, a Riquelme, an Ayala, a Sorin...basically any player capable of dictating or changing games from deep.
Raheem Sterling
- I haven't seen an England player receive so much hype before a tournament only to deliver so little since Steve McManaman did precisely nothing during the course of Euro '96. There's approximately 276 examples dotted through the various match threads on this board.
Honourable mentions
- Serbia: Conspired to throw away qualification with a collapse against Switzerland followed by a toothless performance against Brazil
- Poland: Hapless against Senegal, obliterated by Colombia, gave up despite being 1-0 up against Japan
- Saudi Arabia: Well they were pretty ****...
- Egypt: ...yet The Mohammed Salah Team managed to be that little bit ****tier
WORST FANS
Denmark, Sweden & Columbia
- I don't care if they missed a penalty in a shootout, conceded the free kick that led to Germany winning 2-1, or were sent off and conceded a penalty for handball, YOU DO NOT SEND DEATH THREATS TO PLAYERS AND THEIR FAMILIES. Is that ****ing clear?
Honourable mentions
England fans: "Yay, we won! Let's trash this ambulance that's on call!" Dickheads
Croatia: Any reason why they booed harry Kane when he was awarded the Golden Boot?
Iran: Vuvuzelas? REALLY?
TOP GOALSCORER
Harry Kane
- This appears to have upset fans of Arsenal, Chelsea and Saltypool. Well **** 'em, he won the Golden Boot, and those bitter little rants aren't going to stop that from being a fact
Honourable mentions
Did anyone else score six goals? No? Well then...
BIGGEST DERP
Toni Kroos (vs South Korea)
- The defending equivalent of the Hindenburg disaster as, in the space of a second, his attempt at clearing the ball instead nutmegged teammate Niklas Sule while setting up Kim Young-gwon with a goalscoring opportunity that he looked genuinely surprised to have received, and thanks to VAR it was proven that Kroos played Kim onside so the goal stood and Germany were heading home
Honourable mentions
David De Gea (vs Portugal): Set himself for a routine save as a tame shot dribbled towards him, yet somehow conspired to spill the ball across his own line
/Hugo Lloris (vs Croatia): Apparently wanted to give Loris Karius a message of support by proving that good goalkeepers can **** up too
. rlos Sanchez (vs Japan): What did he think was going to happen with that blatant handball? I mean the penalty and straight red, not the death threats...
Paulinho (vs Belgium): The ball falls to his feet in the Belgian area with the goal at his mercy...and his mishit shot goes flying to his immediate right
Marouane Fellaini & Axel Witsel (vs Brazil): When protecting a narrow lead, DON'T CONSTANTLY HOOF THE BALL TO THE BLOODY OPPOSITION
Neymar (vs everybody): Made himself an international laughing stock with his rolling around
Mark Lawrenson (vs Benjamin Pavard): It never did occur to him that Pavard is a centre back, did it?
Alan Shearer: Was his half-time analysis of any incident actually correct, rather than contrarian bollocks?
Tim Farron & Stephen Kinnock: Remember how they were saying England should boycott the tournament? You do now...
Arsenal FC (vs reality): Congratulating a player they sold to Chelsea in January for his World Cup win was bloody embarrassing, even for them
Various Twitter dickheads (vs common sense): Italy, Holland, Chile and Ivory Coast would've qualified if it was a 48-team tournament, you know...