You'd be wrong.
I didn't want to disappoint the stewards at KingsMeadow. --- they must 'like' me - and were ready and waiting !
I was 'searched' with some enthusiasm. I was asked to hold out my arms; "I'm going to search your body." For a moment I thought the chap was going to put on a pair of rubber gloves and was going to probe into my intimate parts. I duly stretched out my arms - holding my fleece jacket** in one hand.
As the steward began to fumble over the contours of my body, he reached my trousers and asked " What's that hard thing in your trousers." (( can I just say - before I continue - I was
NOT aroused by the 'experience.' )) --
Talk about leading with his chin. I just couldn't help myself - I replied "That's Richard." The steward gave me a funny look, and said " What?" I replied " My Dick !." He asked "Let me have a look." He really didn't think before he opened his mouth - I said "That sounds a lot like sexual harassment." I then produced my mobile phone and its' charging lead. I said - "Can we start again, I want to record you touching me."
Steward wasn't amused. He told me "I'm just doing my job." I told him "I thought you had a sense of humour - you must have one if you work for a club that plays crap football - Don't worry, you won't see me next season - you'll be in League 2 - and if we do join you, I promise to make your job easier - I'll wear a mankini. ......... everyone else laughed !
** He didn't search the jacket !!!!