Wickham

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He underwent plastic surgery to look like Cabaye.

He then kidnapped the frenchman and hid him in his private room at The Tugboat. A well known gay club near Kings Cross.

He donned Cabayes shirt but all this effort was to no avail. But as much as a giant sea slug he is Pardew can sometimes tell if a person can play football and was not fooled by the prancing Wickham and he told him to **** off and return the proper french ****ter to the training ground.

Wixkham is now rumoured to be watching Emile Heskey for footballing tips.
<yikes> means he'll definitely score past us then!!!

FWIW I would've liked to have kept Connor at the club. But getting over £8m for potential is far too good a deal