I can't believe that Albert, Obi and Trev have all missed out on the most obvious person to play them. I would clearly be the best person to play all three roles, as I have vast experience of playing all of them very successfully in mafia games!!!
Looks like No Chance is auditioning for the role of first dead person in the next Death Wish film, Death Wish No Chance
The next mafia game will be more like cluedo. the opening scene is discovering Nev's broken, tortured, smashed up, sliced up, shot, pulped, strangled, burned, flattened, lifeless body. The game is to discover which ond of the 10,000 players is the only one not to have helped cause his death. Therd is thd usual Captainchaos twist though, of course, there is no such player.
Nev - Can I just say don't worry and thank you. Thank you because you have finally rid me of the title of "Most Hated Mafia Game Player Who is Clearly a Completely Deceitful ****". Don't worry, because these people rinsing you will all succumb to the dark side eventually, we just got there a lot earlier and got first go on the whores who come as part of the deal. Another poor sap will take the title soon. Having said all that... NEV (by the most painful and graphic means possible)
For me it would have to be Ewan McGregor. Only for the fact that we were born on the same day. Since that day our careers have taken different paths but who is the richer man? Him a celebrity actor in a long list of hollywood movies that has earned a huge amount of money or me.....erm..with what I've got?* *It's him isn't it?
Whereas Trev was born on the same day as Sepp Blatter and yet their careers followed a remarkably similar path to each other. It's almost like the are twins...
I'd play Fredor the F:ckwit, it's about a Sunderland supporting Aussie with learning difficulties because he supports Sunderland. The film's not out yet because Fredor doesn't believe Sunderland are sh!te despite the advances in present time proof techniques, subsequently he's asking the film makers " Never Seen a Mackem in Milan incorporated " for more time to find more meaningless stats to prove otherwise.
Before my erstwhile friends ask why I'd audition for the part of a Mackem. I'd like to emphasise that I didn't. When the producer saw my elephant man suit he thought I'd make a better Sunderland fan than John Merrick.
Did your 'elephant man' involve you pulling your trouser pockets inside out and unzipping your flies?
Absolutely, plus the fact I could shove buns up my arse with my trunk. It's not something I'm proud of bit it's an ice breaker on a first date.
